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maddyjones2 · 3 months ago

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On not idolising creative people

In the wake of the various recent allegations involving Neil Gaiman, people have been both very sad that someone who they looked up to as an inspiration has, allegedly, turned out to be something less than entirely admirable, and are now looking to see who is now left that they can rotate into the spot of “the good dude,” i.e., that one successful creative guy who they think or at least hope isn’t hiding a cellar full of awful actions. One name I see brought up is mine, in ways ranging from “Well, at least we still have Scalzi,” to “Oh, God, please don’t let Scalzi be a fucking creep too.” Which, uhhhh, yeah? Thanks?

I have many thoughts about this and I’m going to try to make sense of them here, as much for myself as anyone else, so this may be messy and discursive and long (seriously, 3600 words, y’all), but, well, welcome to me. So, ordered by how these things come out of my head:

1. Stop Idolizing Creative People. Creative people are easy to idolize because they create the art you love, and that gives you permission to feel things, and to see yourself and your desires reflected in that art. That is a powerful thing, and from the outside, it can feel like magic, and that the people who do it are tapped into something otherworldly and admirable. Plus, they often get to have cool lives and get to know other cool creative people. They do things that are removed from the day-to-day aspect of a “normal” life, and they’ll even post about them on social media where you can see them. Sometimes, independent of their art directly, they’ll speak about their life, or life in general, and they’ll seem wise and considered and kind. I mean, what’s not to like?

But please consider that this is all an extremely mediated experience of this person. The art is the edited and massaged result of hours and days and weeks and months of work, into which the work of many others is also added. My novels originate from me, but it’s not just me in there, nor is the final form of the novel an accurate statement of who I am as a person, not least of all for the simple reason that I am not trying to tell my story in my novels. I’m creating fictional characters, and the world in which they make sense, for the purpose of the story.

Despite how it might look from the outside, this is not sorcery. It’s years of experience at a craft. It’s not magic, just work. A completed novel (or any other piece of art) won’t tell you much about the specific, day-to-day life and inclinations of the individual who made it, other than a general nod toward their competence, and the competence of their collaborators. Likewise what you see of their lives, even from the illusorily close vantage of social media, is deeply mediated. Lives always look admirable at a distance, when you can only see the lofty peaks and not the rubble at the base — especially when your attention by design is pointed at those lofty peaks. There’s much you don’t see and that you’re not meant to see. The vast majority of what you’re not meant to see isn’t nefarious. It’s just not your business.

Now, before I was a professional creative person, I was an entertainment journalist who spent years interviewing writers, directors, movie stars, musicians, authors and other creative folks. Since I’ve been on the other side of the rope, I’ve likewise met a huge range of creative people from all walks of life. Please believe me when I assure you that creative people are just people. Richer and/or more famous? Sometimes (less often than you might think, though). Prettier and/or more charismatic? Especially if they’re actors or pop stars, often yes! But at the end of the day they are just folks, and they run the whole range of how people are. By and large, the day-to-day experience of getting through their life is the same as yours. Outside of their own specific field of work, they don’t know any more about life, have no more facility for dealing with the world, and have just as few clues about what’s going on in their own head, as anyone else.

They’re just people. Whose work is making the stuff you like! And that’s great, but that’s not a substantive basis for idolizing them. It makes no more sense to idolize them than to idolize a baker who makes cookies you like, or the guy who comes and trims your hedges the way you want them to be trimmed, or the plumber who fixes your clogged drain. You can appreciate what they do, and even admire they skill they have. But holding them up as a life model might be a bit much. Which is the point! If you’re not willing to idolize a plumber, then you shouldn’t idolize a creative person.

(“But a plumber doesn’t make me feel like a creative person does,” you say, to which I say, are you sure about that? Because I will tell you what, when my sump pump stopped working and the plumber got in there, replaced the pump and started draining out my basement which had an inch of standing water in it, that man was the focus of all my emotions and was my goddamned hero that day. My plumber that day did more for me than easily 90% of the great art I’ve ever experienced.)

Enjoy the art creative people do. Enjoy the experience of them in the mediated version of them you get online and elsewhere, if such is your joy. But remember that the art is from the artist, not the artist themselves, and the version of their life you see is usually just the version they choose to show. There is so much you don’t see, and so much you’re not meant to see. At the end of the day, you don’t have all the information about who they are that you would need to make them your idol, or someone you might choose to, in some significant way, pattern some fraction of your life on. And anyway creative people aren’t any better at life than anyone else.

Which brings up the next point:

2. Fuck idols anyway! People are complicated and contradictory and you don’t know everything about them! You don’t know everything even about your parents or siblings or best friends or your partner! People are hypocrites and liars and fail to live up to their own standards for themselves, much less yours! Your version of them in your head will always be different than the version that actually exists in the world! Because you’re not them! Stop pretending people won’t be fuck ups! They will! Always!

This sounds more pessimistic about humans than perhaps it should be. When I say, for example, that people are hypocrites and liars, I don’t mean that people take every single opportunity to be hypocrites and liars. Most people are decent in the moment. But none of us — not one! — has always lived up to our own standard of behavior, and all of us have had the moment where, when confronted with a situation that would become an immense pain in the ass if we stuck to our guns, or demanded the inconvenient truth, decided to just bail instead, because the situation wasn’t worth the drama, or we had somewhere else to be, or whatever. We all choose battles and we all make the call in the moment, and sometimes the call is, fuck this, I’m out.

Every person you’ve ever admired has fucked up, sometimes really badly. Everyone you’ve ever looked up to has secrets, and it’s possible some of those secrets would materially change how you think about them, not always for the better. Everyone you’ve ever known has things about them you don’t know, many of which aren’t even secrets, they’re just things you don’t engage with in your day-to-day experience of them. Nevertheless it’s possible if you were aware of them, it would change how you feel about them, for better or for worse. And now let’s flip that around! You have things about you that even your best friends don’t know, and might be surprised to learn! You have secrets you don’t wish to share with the class! You have fucked up, and lied, and have been a hypocrite too!

You are, in short, a human, as is everyone you know and every one you will know (pets and gregarious wild animals excepted). And all humans are, charitably, a mess. This doesn’t mean there aren’t good people or even exemplary people out there, since there are, along with the ones that are, charitably, a real shit show. What I am saying is that even the good or exemplary people out there are a mess, have been morally compromised at some point in their lives, and have not lived up to their own standards for themselves, independent of anyone else’s standard for them.

One of the aspects of being an “idol,” I think, is that higher standard that other people expect of you — that in every situation where the aspect they idolize you for is in play, you will act in a manner that is right and correct by their standard, which of course you will likely not know about because you don’t actually know them (or often know that they exist). This is, by definition, an impossible standard to be held to — you didn’t agree to it, or to engage with it — and an impossible standard to hold other people to without their direct consultation. Every human made to be an idol is destined to fail at the job. You don’t even have to have feet of clay! You just didn’t know you were on a pedestal to begin with.

(This does not excuse shitty action. The fact people should not be idols in the first place is not exculpatory for the choices one makes on one’s own. If you’re sexually assaulting people, or being a racist or sexist or homophobe or other flavor of bigot, or using your situational power coercively (as just a few examples), then hell yes you are going to be called out on it. And to be clear, it is not unreasonable, to put it mildly, to expect people not to sexually assault other people, or not to denigrate other humans for being who they are, etc. But this only adds to the point about idols, now, doesn’t it. You don’t know what you don’t see, and you don’t know what you’re not seeing, until it is hauled out into the light one way or the other. If it is hauled out into the light at all.)

I don’t think anyone should idolize anyone, ever. It’s not great for them, and it’s not great for you, they probably didn’t ask to be idolized (and if they did, holy shit, fucking run), and in the end unless you’re so completely wrapped up in their lives that they have no secrets from you — which is never — you don’t know enough to make that call. People do it anyway, and then disappointment happens, but they shouldn’t have done it in the first place. Stop idolizing people. It’s not fair for anyone.

What to do instead? Enjoy their work, if they’re a creative person. Appreciate the kind and good aspects of their life that you can see, and the decent actions they undertake in public, with the knowledge that what you see of them is a mediated and elided version. Understand that we all have a different version of ourself for every person we meet, and that every person we meet has a different vision of ourselves in their head, and very often, those two versions are not the same. Like them, based on what you know of them! Love them, if it comes to that. And when and if you learn something new about them that you didn’t know before, let empathy guide you to a new understanding of them and what they mean to you.

And now, taking all of the above into consideration:

3. Absolutely 100% do not idolize me. I don’t deserve to be idolized because no one deserves to be idolized, but also, holy fuck, I do know me and I’m a mess. There have been lots of things in my life that I’ve done that have not been admirable or kind. I can be petty and shitty and competitive and cruel. I am lazy and inattentive and when I let things slide (which is often), I end up jammed up on my responsibilities, which makes me irritable and no fun to be around. I have a temper which goes from zero to sixty almost instantaneously; if I’m not actively paying attention to it, I can become a sudden, unreasonable rage monster, which is a burden to people I love, and I hate that fact about myself (pro tip: don’t travel with me, the rage monster comes out a lot then).

I can be controlling and demanding but I want other people to handle the details, i.e., executive asshole. I am strategic in a way that can be bloodless. When I’m insecure I brag a lot, which is unflattering. If you cross me, I won’t go out of my way to make your life miserable (that would require effort on my part), but I will absolutely enjoy when you take a literal or metaphorical tumble down the stairs. God knows I’ve enjoyed the failures of the people who have spoken ill of me, almost as much as I’ve enjoyed the fuming, spittling rage they’ve felt when I’ve succeeded. I spent years cultivating a snarky persona online and while that was fun (for me), I’m increasingly aware that when the tally is added up for Who Ruined the Internet, I’m not necessarily going to be where I want to be on that particular ledger.

And these are only the bad qualities of mine I wish to admit to you at the moment. There are others, I assure you.

So, yes: Who wants to idolize me now?

“But you seemed so nice when I chatted with you online/met you at the convention/saw you at that one place that one time.” Well, thank you, I’ve been in the public eye in one manner or another for three and a half decades now and I understand my assignment; my public persona is friendly and engaging and sociable and mostly fun to be with. It’s not a fake version of me — I am all those things! Honest! — but, again, it’s a mediated version of me designed not only to be a positive experience for the people who meet me but also to get my actually introverted ass through a whole day of events at a convention/festival/book tour/whatever. When I’m done I collapse into an introverted hole. When I came back from Worldcon this week, I slept for 15 hours the first day I was home. It wasn’t just because of jet lag or con crud.

I rather famously call my public face “performance monkey mode,” and likewise what I say about my (current) online mode is that I’m cosplaying as a better version of myself, one that is kinder than I used to be online, and more patient than I am in the real world. If you meet me when I am “off” then you will find that, again, these versions of me are me, just with some things dialed up and other things dialed down. But even that is still a different version of me than, say, the version of me which is at home (which is in fact extremely boring; that version of me doesn’t talk much and mostly stays in my office).

Many of you who have followed me over the years are familiar with me saying things like this, of course, and are likewise familiar with me pointing out that there are a number of things about my life that I don’t mention in public, for whatever reasons I choose. But it’s also true that I’ve been actively online for 30+ years now, and people feel reasonably confident that they have a good bead on me and that there’s not much about me that will surprise them or change their understanding of me. So to bring home the point there are indeed things you don’t know, allow me to surface just one previously unaired fun fact:

I have a concealed carry license.

(Or did; it expired this year and I didn’t renew it, because Ohio changed its laws so that you no longer need a permit to conceal carry in the state. These days in Ohio you can just wander about with a handgun stuffed down your trousers without training or licensing because that’s a real good idea, now, isn’t it. Nevertheless, the license is not necessary anymore so there was not much point in renewing it, although if the law had not changed, I probably would have renewed.)

Why did I have a concealed carry license? Well, ultimately that’s not important. The point is I had one. I didn’t talk about it before because, among other things, the point of a concealed carry license (to me, anyway) is that its existence is not meant to be known by anyone other than that great state of Ohio itself. I am aware, and this is a dramatic understatement, that I am not a person most people would expect to have had such a thing. That the fact I had one will cause a number of people to reconsider what they know about me, for better or for worse. Which is also my point. All y’all have just learned this thing about me! Think about all the other things you don’t know!

Oh, God, this is where Scalzi starts admitting to terrible, terrible things. No. I feel pretty confident I live a tolerably ethical life. Part of the reason for this is that I have what I think is a decent operating principle, which is: If I’m thinking of doing something, and Krissy called me right then and asked “what are you doing?” and I would be tempted to lie to her about it, then I don’t do that thing. Because Krissy is the most important person in my life, and I don’t want to lie to her about what I’m doing (I have lied to her exactly once. She knew instantly. I haven’t bothered lying to her since). This is not replacing Krissy’s ethics with my own; it’s me knowing whether by my own ethics, I would be ashamed to tell to her what I am up to. It works very well. As such, the Krissy Test is an operating principle I highly suggest to others, although I’d suggest replacing Krissy with whomever your life is most important to you.

Be that as it may, my ethics are not universal and some others might not find them sufficient, for whatever reason. I am well aware I still disappoint many people, and that there are people who find my life choices, known positions or public statements (or lack of them, as the case may be) problematic, or who simply wish I would be other than what I am. I can’t help them with this, but again, this is the point. Given the fact that I am a fallible human who has an entire stratum of his life not visible to the world — and the strata of his life that are visible cause significant numbers of people to be irritated and exasperated — is it not better just to not hold me up as an ideal person, or the “good dude,” much less an idol of any sort?

I mean, shit. What Would John Scalzi Do? Solidly half the time, I have no fucking idea. I have to think about it, whatever it is. I have to think about whether I know enough to do or say something about it. I have to decide whether it’s something I want to engage with at all, and whether my engagement with it is something that would be of value to anyone, me included. I have to decide whether engaging with it is worth the shit I will get for it. And then I have to figure out what it means that I am engaging with it, since like it or not I’m a Dude of Reasonable Significance in My Field. I try to be a decent human, when people are looking at me and especially when they are not. But I also know me, and all my flaws and weaknesses and compromises.

What Would John Scalzi Do? The best he can, in the moment. Is that sufficient? For me, yes, most of the time. Is that sufficient for you? That’s up to you.

The point to this all is that people are just a big fucking mess, including the ones you might for whatever reason find admirable. I am no different than anyone else, and you should not be under the illusion that I am anything other than a shambling collection of flaws embedded inside a human form, which also, in its defense, has some pretty excellent qualities as well. We’re all this way! You too!

And while I want you to like my work, and to enjoy the version of me that you see here and elsewhere, don’t put me, or any other person, on a pedestal. Pedestals are wobbly and and don’t give actual humans a lot of room to move. We will inevitably fall off. Keep us with our feet on the ground. That way, when we stumble, there’s a chance we can get back up, and keep going.

— JS

#good omens #david tennant #michael sheen #neil gaiman allegations

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yournightmary · 5 months ago

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Gryffindor!Ellie HCs

content warning:: fem!reader, Hogwarts!AU, reader wears a dress, nothing else I think

AN:: Is this a very specific thing that no one asked for? yes. Will I still write this? also yes. Replaying Hogwarts Legacy for the 3rd time, sorry.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ I couldn’t figure out what house she would be in but I think it would be gryffindor? At least that’s the one that makes the most sense to me.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ For anyone that isn’t really into Harry Potter, later years are set in the mid/late 90s… which makes me want to write 90s!Ellie oh my fucking god.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ gryffindor!Ellie who either has a pet rat or an ugly cat. I’m leaning towards the rat though. It’s definitely one of those albino rats with red eyes, named something like ‘Crouton’.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ gryffindor!Ellie who constantly sneaks off into the Forbidden Forest, way too often for her own safety. She’s just so mysterious and cool. At least that’s what she thinks.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ gryffindor!Ellie who is infamous for her beaten up sneakers. They’re definitely taped up in some places and she doodles on them whenever she’s bored. Which is most of the time.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ gryffindor!Ellie who wears the ugliest, scratchiest, grandpa-looking flannel shirts and sweaters. Some people say that she stole them from Filch’s closet.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ gryffindor!Ellie who is a menace to everyone the professors. Not paying attention during class but they can’t even do anything because somehow she knows all the answers/brews potions perfectly/knows how to cast spells. Girlie is naturally smart and talented.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ gryffindor!Ellie who wanted to play quidditch but flying a broom is the only thing she’s bad at. Probably fell off of it during tryouts and got humiliated:(

⇢ ˗ˏˋ gryffindor!Ellie who met you while sneaking into the restricted section in the library. She was looking for a dark spellbook to get revenge on someone while you just wanted to learn more about divination.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ gryffindor!Ellie who made you her partner in crime, whether you wanted it or not. Constantly asking you to steal something for her or distract someone while she does whatever she does.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ gryffindor!Ellie who ran out of potions class when she smelled your perfume in the amortentia. A few people have done that, so no one really paid attention. You on the other hand have smelled mint, cigarette smoke and cookies. The ones that Ellie loves… funny, right?

⇢ ˗ˏˋ gryffindor!Elllie who asked you to the Yule Ball (let’s just pretend it happens every year, without a tournament) like a day before, under the impression that no one else wanted to go with you. Rightfully, you got pissed (and a little sad that she thought no one wanted you) and declined not-so-politely.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ gryffindor!Ellie who you’ve found crying in one of the more secluded hallways late into the night of the ball. After you declined she asked some random guy just so she wouldn’t be without a date, he turned out to be a total dick and the whole experience was shit.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ gryffindor!Ellie who cried even more when she saw you in your beautiful dress, which looked way too similar to not be matching with the suit of some guy she saw earlier. A guy who asked you a full week before Ellie did, and you agreed because you thought she wouldn’t ask you.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ gryffindor!Ellie who invited you to dance once a slow song came on, even though you could barely hear it over the thick walls of the castle. Cried in your arms and acted like she didn’t after.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ gryffindor!Ellie who always sneaks you into the gryffindor common room (if you’re not in the same house).

⇢ ˗ˏˋ gryffindor!Ellie who stole fire whiskey from some shop in Hogsmeade and got you both drunk. Somehow convinced you that taking a stroll around the castle in the middle of the night is an excellent idea. You got a ton of bruises from bumping into everything while she almost fell off of the Grand Staircase. 3 week detention.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ gryffindor!Ellie who loves to duel with you. Always says she’ll go easy on you but struggles the whole time and ends up getting her ass beat.

My brain is fried and I hate what I wrote.

#the last of us #ellie williams fluff #ellie williams headcannons #ellie williams imagine #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x y/n #ellie williams x you #lesbian #wlw #ellie williams

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obx-archives · 2 years ago

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hi! may i request a shy fem reader x jj maybank? virgin reader who hasn’t had first kiss, and jj knows that she’s super touch starved? lots of sexual tension to eventual smut? praise kink maybe? thank u!!

sweet desire - jj maybank

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

warning: makeout session. sexual tension? let me know if a miss any.

word count: 1.3k

author's notes: as always, got super carried away, love writing this and wished that i had finished sooner, sorry it took so long, have a couple requests and other works coming up soon! thank you for this request! part two

masterlist

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

The voices around were muffled in y\n’s head as she stared at JJ Maybank across the backyard. She attempted to distract herself by being a part of her friend's conversation, but her thoughts were way too loud to ignore them.

The boys were organizing a fire pit outside the chateau, you, Sarah and Kie were talking on the stairs, actually, Kie and Sarah were talking, you had your attention hooked on something else. You scan his tan body and his movements trying to be as subtle as possible for him, and anyone else, to not notice.

“hellooo, earth to y/n.” Kie snaps her fingers in front of your face. “I know the sunset is breathtaking but we’re making plans for your future.”

“Oh and what is that?” you asked, finally focusing on the conversion.

“to live for once, there’s like a hundred parties going on this summer and you have to go to at least one.” Kie stated

“but you have to promise to us not to sleep with the first touron that talks to you.” Sarah jokes making your cheeks red.

“No Sarah, c’mon, she can't have her first kiss with a random and probably gross guy.” Kie intervened

“Why not? There’s nothing wrong with it, a hookup it’s not supposed to be a relationship.”

“Oh God, can we not?”. You glanced at the boys approaching. They were talking over to each other as they got close to you, John B pecked Sarah’s lips and dragged her inside the house interrupting and ending the conversation, thankfully.

“Gross guys.” Kie shouted

“And, that’s my cue, I’m heading home to take a shower, wanna a ride Kie?”. Pope asked offering Kie a hand

“Sure, see you in an hour guys.” Kie said leaving with Pope.

You turned your head to JJ, who was picking his fingers, you adjusted yourself on the stairs avoiding starting a conversation.

JJ, like everyone else in your group of friends, has always been your friend. But lately, you've been seeing him through different eyes. There's something about him that pulls you in with a magnetic force, unlike any other boy you've encountered before. It feels both weird and exhilarating.

While you've never been open and intimate with any of the boys in the group, you were at least able to share more than a few words with Pope and John B but your interactions with JJ are different recently.

Your conversations with him always go the same path, but your mind is constantly filled with thoughts and fantasies that you have zero experience with.

It didn't feel normal to have such intense feelings for just a friend, but you knew that JJ would never be aware of the effect he had on you.

“Yo, I think I have a splinter on my fingers, could ya look at it?” JJ sat down next to you, and as he placed the back of his hand on your thighs, you couldn't help but flinch at the unexpected touch. Your gaze locked onto his hand, and you simply nodded in response

“i-i...yes, could you hand me my bag, it's on the sofa, I think I have a tweezer and a band aid there.” you stammered, blinking rapidly in an attempt to mask your nervousness.

JJ went inside granting you enough time to fix your hair and rub your hands into your face hoping to stop the blushing.

“Here ya go.” JJ returns to his spot handing you your tiny bag placing his hand at the same spot from before.

You hesitantly held his hands, your fingers tracing his skin as you scanned for the splinter. His body moved close enough for his intoxicating scent to distract you. You blinked rapidly, trying to focus on helping him.

“Does it hurt when I do this?” you asked.

“A little bit, i think you found it” he replied with a hiss “Keep going, you might be close.” You subtly bit your lip as you kicked yourself mentally for the way his words sounded so alluring.

You find yourself losing your composure, that's not your usual, that’s the least attractive thing to be doing right now and yet, pictures of his lips on yours fills your mind.

JJ's gaze lingered on you, carefully observing your reaction.

“I think you’re good.” you said letting go of his hands after removing all signs of splinters on his palm.

"Geez, yeah, that feels so much better," he remarked, getting up and standing in front of you. “You've got some serious skill,huh?” He awaited your response, tilting his head with a playful smirk on his lips.

Gosh, this is torture.

As you looked up at him, you nodded your head in agreement.

He couldn't help but make the connection in his mind, he recalled those moments when he had caught you stealing glances at him or how quiet would you get when there was just the two of you.

JJ has always seen you as shy, particularly around boys. But right now he's coming to understand that you're not just reserved, but also showing signs of neediness.

“Anyway, thank you cupcake.” he said before winking and turning his back, leaving you sitting there still processing the last minutes.

At night, the entire gang was reunited again, gathered around a crackling bonfire, sipping drinks, and sharing stories. Laughter filled the air as they reminisced about old memories.

The girls couldn’t help themselves to talk about your non-existent love life, Sarah feeling the effects of the drink was incredibly more sincere than sober Sarah.

She followed you onto the kitchen with her phone showing a bunch of cute seniors that she felt that would be a good match for you, Kie was still very reluctant for you to have your first kiss being with a random guy, you, as always, decided to ignore them as you continue to bring more beers to the boys outside.

As time passed, everyone started to disappear, you stayed behind, sitting by the dying fire pit, lost in your own thoughts. Gosh, sometimes it’s sad to be sober.

You suddenly hear footsteps approaching, you turn your head seeing JJ leaving the porch of the chateau, walking towards you with a gentle smile on his face.

"Hey," he said softly as he approached, his eyes glinting in the dim light. "Mind if I join you?"

You shook your head, confused, scooting over to make room for him.

JJ's voice broke the awkward silence, catching you off guard with his unexpected comment. "First kiss then, huh?"

Oh God “What? H-how do you know this?” you stared at him

“That was not my question.” He arched his brow

“What? No one ever kissed me, I'm not waiting for a prince or something and that’s it, the end.”

JJ's expression softened. "Well, that's no good. Everyone deserves to experience a good kiss at least once in their life, right?"

Before you could respond, JJ got closer, leaning in. You could feel his breath on your face, you stood there in shock staring at his lips with your heart racing.

"Let me help you with that," JJ whispered, placing his hand on your cheek, your body tensed with nervous excitement, he pressed his lips against yours, a mix of emotions run through your veins, you were hesitant at first and as it got more further, the heat building between you two intensified the desire allowing you to be comfortable ambitious.

JJ hand went to your neck while the other one slid from your shoulder to your hips squeezing lighty, your senses were overwhelmed with the scent of his cologne, the taste of his lips, and the warmth of his body against yours.

Your hand kept pulling each other closer, his touch became vicious, you couldn’t let go of his grip, your tongues exploring and tasting every inch of each other’s mouth felt sinful. Your hand kept pulling each other closer, yearning for more of the same.

JJ broke the kiss gasping for air, he turned his head looking around checking for any sign of your friends, the silence revealed that, in fact, you two were alone. He got up not letting go of your hand, he pulled you one more time, this time placing a kiss on the side of your lips. And when you realized, you were following JJ back inside the house.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

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tgmsunmontue · 10 months ago

Text

It's not who you know 3/4

YEAR 3 - Non-angsty Nepo!Baby Bradley and his years at the USNA and his head-in-the-sand approach to the nepotism and the fact that he ends up being known as the guy with the two hot dads instead...

YEAR THREE - 2003 - PART 3

Bradley’s time in San Diego is now numbered in days rather than weeks and Tom helps him pack for his first extended stay on a cruiser. Tom wonders if his name was even put into a hat for a place on a submarine; unlike his relationship with Man and him, it’s no secret that Bradley wants to fly. If a carrier had been an option he’s pretty sure Bradley would have gotten that. He’s seen Bradley’s report though, knows he’s excelling in all areas, clearly determined to succeed and he’s so proud. Of course, Bradley still needs to take part in the standard summer activities, despite having grown up and having them happening around him constantly, getting dragged across the country to attend various things in his shadow.

“You know I’ll be visiting the USS Princeton while you’re onboard.”

“Yeah yeah, I promise not to have to be thrown overboard for insubordination.”

“No, that wasn’t… I was more thinking that you might find yourself hearing things about me which are going to make you want to pop someone in the nose.”

“Like what?”

“Oh god, all sorts of shit. People think I don’t know what they say behind my back but trust me, I know.”

“I haven’t heard anything!”

“You’ve not done any active service yet. Fresh greenie not even a proper upperclassman yet. You’ll hear stuff.”

The expression on Bradley’s face is equally angry and annoyed and Tom holds back a groan.

“Bradley, I’m serious. You’re really going to have to hold back if you get angry. Don’t worry about my honor okay. You’ve spent the last couple of years pretending you don’t know me and Mav at all, don’t blow your cover over something stupid that doesn’t matter. You understand?”

“Yeah. Thanks Ice. And thanks for going along with this whole thing, I know it probably feels a bit stupid some days, but it’s really nice knowing that the friends I’ve made are my friends because of me you know, not because of what connections I might have.”

“Yeah kid, I get it. Fair warning they might feel pretty pissed when they do find out though.”

“Nah, I’ve picked good friends. I reckon they’ll understand.”

“Okay. Now did you need anything else? I know Mav has been riding you hard about your flight hours…”

Mav of course has made the most of whatever spare time they’ve had and ensured Bradley built up his flight hours again so his license doesn’t lapse. Tom doesn’t think there are going to be very many other upperclassman with as much flight experience as Bradley. Talk about being overqualified. However he also knows it makes for a damn strong application so he’s supported Mav in his undertaking.

They say goodbye to Bradley on the porch, tell him they’ll see him onboard when he’s mixing with the enlisted personnel and Tom wishes they could watch him board, feels like it’s another milestone he’s going to miss. Reminds himself firmly that he’ll see him again onboard the same damn ship and he’ll have plenty of opportunities in the future to wave Bradley off on deployment.

… … …

He doesn’t punch anyone, didn’t even need the warning, wonders what Ice thinks people say about him. He’d heard them talk, but nothing more than him being brass and being very cool-headed in times of crisis. It’s all been pretty benign stuff really, and no-one had stopped talking when he entered a room or anything.

For the first time ever he puts up a photo of Ice and Mav beside his bed. It’s weird, but he can see why people don’t see Admiral Kazansky. He’s got a few copies of the photo, Slider having printed him off a bunch in thanks for forwarding him the electronic file and that is probably going to come back and bite him in the ass at some stage. Now he’s back in Bancroft, preparing to help with Plebe Summer, this time older and not being expected to have to deal with people yelling in his face while not reacting. It’s going to be a cake-walk in comparison to two years ago and he’s looking forward to it.

“You’re not meant to be in here,” Bradley says, seeing Natasha at the end of his dorm bed.

“I was sent to collect you, I have permission,” she says, hand waving away his concerns. “Let me look at that photo. Holy shit… I thought your first dad was hot, but your other dad? I mean… wow. I know I told you I like girls more than boys, but these are the type of boys that I prefer…” she says, tapping the photo. “Huh. Maybe it’s just men and women, because to be honest I don’t find anyone here very attractive.”

“Gross,” Bradley states, because he’s very firmly kept the company of his own hand when he’s been on base. His summers are probably a lot wilder than Mav or Ice think they are, but he tries to make use of every night he has home once they’re

“To you maybe… pretty sure you’d find my brother hot.”

“If I did, I wouldn’t tell you!”

“That’s because you’re repressed.”

“Rather be repressed than find either of my dads hot thanks!”

“Okay. That’s fair. And you probably won’t be too ugly once you grow into your face…”

“Wow, you really know how to flatter a guy…”

… … …

Plebe Summer starts and Bradley throws himself into being the best role model he can. He knows that in the future some of these people will be his peers, maybe even be his superior, but right now they have to get through what he still considers the hardest summer of their life. Of course hardly anyone drops out, the selection criteria is far too difficult and physically rigorous to make it something someone would easily just drop-out from without serious consideration first. There’s friendly competition and even friendlier encouragement, the brigades working together.

There’s one guy that keeps catching his eye and he’s not sure if it’s deliberate on the guy’s part, somehow magically putting himself nearly always in Bradley’s line of sight. Or whether he’s only got himself to blame, eyes just drifting to watch. Either way he’s really fucking horny and the guy is hot. Not that he will do anything, but it doesn’t stop him thinking about it.

“Now there is a guy who doesn’t need to grow into his looks…”

He silently agrees.

God what he wouldn’t do to get his hands on him.

Ah well. His own hands on his own body and his mind on another it is.

… … …

“Do I have a sign on me that says to tell me if you’re gay? Or a lesbian? Or bisexual?”

“Um… not literally. But there is the common knowledge that you have smoking hot dads and therefor okay with the gay.”

Bradley groans.

“I had another guy come out to me today. No reason. Just to tell me. Also he said he thinks we’re cute together.”

“Ew.”

“I just nodded and smiled.”

… … …

Michael Williams sighs. It’s the second… complaint? Notification? Information? Tips? Regardless, they’re both about Bradley Bradshaw’s relationship with Natasha Trace. They’ve been spied coming out of rooms together, otherwise small, dark, empty rooms like the store rooms. Fraternization. Actions unbecoming. Fuck. The kid wants to be treated like all the other kids, he’d be getting pulled into Mack’s office for a dressing down, short and sharp. Both of them would be.

Part of him wants to, still a little ticked off at the whole stunt Bradshaw is pulling. He’s not familiar with him outside of watching him last year, seeing a whole raft of his superior officers watch as Admiral Kazansky toured the campus dressed as a civilian. But also Bradshaw is good. He does everything well, more than well. And he’s cheerful and helpful and encourages the underclassmen and there had been no fault in any of his behavior.

Until now.

He walks down the corridor to Admiral Kerner’s office, nervous as he knocks on the open door.

“Sir. Do you have a moment?”

“Of course, come in.”

He does, closes the door behind him and notes the eyebrow raise and the lean back in the chair. He has his full attention.

“Sir. I need you to do a favor and make a call to your friend Kazansky.”

“Why, what’s happened?”

“I’ve got two instances of fraternization for Bradley Bradshaw and Natasha Trace.”

“And you want to do what? Tattle on him to his uncle?”

“No, I was actually after guidance on how I should proceed. I would pull them both into my office and give them a stern talking to, and a warning. Is that appropriate?”

“Bradshaw and Trace are the same rank Captain, it’s not exactly forbidden, just heavily frowned upon. The fact you have had two complaints tells me that this is more likely a case of sour grapes on whoever is complaining, so I’d be having a talk with them as well. But let me see if I can get Ice on the blower…”

Michael will never understand naval aviators and their call signs, but he stands and waits as Admiral Kerner dials, then asks to be put through. Obviously whoever it is on the other end knows not to mess with one Admiral ringing another. He listens to the one-sided conversation and watches Admiral Kerner’s face with interest.

“Hey Ice, it’s Sli. Yes, well, I didn’t think I’d be speaking to you today either. Look. Yeah. This is about Bradley. Did you talk to him about behavior?” Face curious, openly contemplative.

“Okay, so you covered that with him. Then why are we looking at two instances of fraternization?” Eyes narrowed and considering.

“No, it’s with a fellow midshipman. Also an upperclassman.” Serious.

“Yes, I’m aware it’s not actual fraternization.” An eyeroll.

“Yes, it is.” Face back to curious, speculative.

“Oh. Huh.” Surprise.

“I did think it was maybe a case of sour grapes, jealousy at his general capabilities and the fact that he’s generally well liked amongst his peers. Except by a couple apparently.”

“Yes well, he’ll be fine. We’ll pull them in and give them a heads up. Both of them. Midshipman Trace is equally talented and capable.”

“Yeah, was nice talking to you too. Will have to have a proper catchup when it’s not about work.”

… … …

Jake isn’t sure what he has to do to get the guys sole undivided attention, but he’s not going to give up trying. He’s so good at everything, competent in this easy way that turns him on in ways he’s never thought were possible, and he’s a teenager and being horny is pretty much a permanent state for him. Except when he’s too tired to even think, which unfortunately for his first year at USNA is a whole lot of the time. Either it gets easier or people just learn how to cope with everything better because Midshipman Bradshaw makes it look easy.

… … …

“Oh god, it was horrible. I can’t do it again. How do they do it?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Submarines! Going under the water…”

“Uh…” Tom exchanges a look with Pete and opens his mouth. Closes it again. Bradley is back home for part of summer, having just experienced his first dive and he’s at a bit of a loss.

“Bradley. Buddy. Uh. You realize you’re in the Navy right? And that has, uh, a lot to do with the water?” Mav says.

“But I’m going to fly planes!”

“Maybe he should have joined the airforce,” Tom muses.

“You wash your mouth out right now!”

… … …

“Seriously, if I was going to fuck around I’d do it somewhere far less obvious than the fucking storeroom!”

Tom winces, because clearly Pete has heard the rumors about Bradley and Natasha Trace. God he loves the rumor mill of the US Navy, bunch of gossipers the lot of them. He hadn’t bothered mentioning anything, because he knew nothing was happening. Mav is of course mentioning it. In the worst possible way. Clearly having forgotten that Bradley came out as gay several years ago and that Natasha Trace is a woman. He’s going to need a coffee.

“Bradley! What do you mean Bradley? Don’t walk away from me young man!”

“You said we leave our ranks at the door with our shoes, so this conversation is over! And I said if!”

“I know what if means in this house, and it definitely means something definitely happened!”

… … …

“Do I even want to know?” Tom asks, taking a quiet sip of coffee.

“Mav’s scared I might be having sex.”

Tom raises an eyebrow, he’s fully aware Bradley’s been sneaking out for the last couple of years. He guesses Bradley’s now feeling mature enough to talk about it. Good.

“Are you being safe?”

“Yes.”

“Good enough for me. Don’t get caught.”

Bradley scoffs.

“I learnt from the best remember!”

“He got caught plenty of times,” Tom says dryly.

“I meant you Ice.”

“Oh.”

It’s been a long time since he’s blushed.

PART FOUR

#Nepo!Baby Bradley Bradshaw #IceMav #Top Gun Maverick #Top Gun Maverick Fanfiction #AU where Bradley goes to USNA #Hangster #creeping in there a tiny bit #it's not who you know

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iwritebigbellies-blog · 2 months ago

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Same anon who asked about causes here. If I ever send another ask, I'll probably end it with -O. I feel SEEN, oh my god. I fully teared up reading your response. I think there's a special sort of loneliness that comes from growing up with a "rare" form of kink/fetish/paraphillia. I only recently (as in, a couple of months ago) started embracing mine instead of trying to push it away, and it's been, um, a journey. I've spent the last few months alternating between the depression of "I'm stuck with this and there's no cure" and the isolation of "Even people who are into this aren't usually into it like I am." Your post singlehandedly managed to make me feel a LOT better about everything, so, thank you <3 Funny how simply knowing that you're not alone can make a situation seem so much less bleak. -O

I'd normally take this to DMs, but anon asks are what they are. 😅 Sorry...

I just wanna give you/readers/myself a little pep talk about... well, the whole thing where you feel hopelessly fucked up and alone when you have a niche fetish.

I have known I am like this for decades. I figured myself out around age 14 and by the time I was living with my first bf at 17 I knew that stuffing was the only thing that genuinely turned me on.

That didn't stop me from trying to brute force myself through "vanilla" relationships. I explained to my partners (four of them, back to back, over twenty years) about this kink, but I hadn't accepted that this was my only button. I still thought that maybe if I tried hard enough, or pretended, or got therapy, or watched porn, that SOMETHING else might work. And when it didn't, I either retreated into shame and guilt, thinking I was too broken for relationships, or I forced myself to have sex anyway, even when I was completely unaroused and uninterested.

Most of my exes tried. They even kinda enjoyed themselves. Big guys eat, man. Being told that not only do they never have to diet, but their girlfriend will get rabidly turned on when they eat too much? That's a win, right? But they weren't into it, and it wasn't practical to engage in as often as they wanted to get laid, so sex became triage.

Every single relationship I have had in my life has ended over sexual mismatch. All of them. And along the way, I felt shitty, violated, panicky, lonely, and hopeless. I have been told I am asexual, cold, cruel, and worse. I believed it.

About a year ago, I decided I couldn't do that anymore. Dating "normal" people and trying to wedge fetishy compromise into the relationship has never worked. I couldn't bear to try again.

I joined Feabie instead, thinking I'd tackle this from the other direction. I'd tried dating people who were amazing except for the sex. Maybe I could try just matching up sexually, and give up trying to fall in love. Normal people have hookups, right? Maybe I could just have kinky hookups for a while, before I am too old to pull anyone ever again.

One of the ruder awakenings of my Feabie experience has been that even in the feedist community, my fetish is niche. A lot of men message me. Like, a lot. And I want to give people a chance, so I have chatted with most of them. Maybe... 300-400 guys over the last 10 months. (These are not sexy converaations, for the most part. Just getting to know people!) But the overwhelming majority of these guys are gainers. They fetishize fat, and the process of gaining, and even though there is some fun overlap (stuffing is fun for both of us!) I eventually got frustrated with how often the conversation would swing to things that just weren't sexy to me. Playing at finding wg sexy is just as exhausting as playing at finding vanilla whatever sexy. It just... isn't. It becomes a chore. I'm back to where I started.

Finding the one tiny, incredibly hidden corner of the internet where you supposedly belong and then discovering you don't really belong there? That fucking sucks.

But... it hasn't been a wash. I have actually met people who share my fetish. Like, VERY FEW, but at this point, ANY is an enormous win. Of course, we each have our separate little quirks and angles, but on the whole, I have matched well enough with a few people that I could see myself being genuinely happy with them. They like what I like and the result is devastatingly sexy. I have had the best (virtual) dates if my whole life in the last year, my first real orgasms. I have met enough people who share my small corner of this tiny pond that I can even afford to be picky. I've even met people who I adore for reasons unrelated to the kink. Who are age-appropriate. The pool is small, but can somehow still contain people who might be perfect.

This is the right place for me to be. I have been happier and more honest and myself and more seen around the feedist community than anywhere else in my life. It isn't easy and I still haven't met a person who will commit to me and say they will keep me forever, but maybe I will. It is more likely here than anywhere.

And there are a lot more younger people around here than there are folks my age. So your chances are better than mine.

It can get better. We just have to make, and hold, our space.

#female feeder #stuffing kink #belly kink #ffa #stuffing #male stuffed belly #fetishist pep talks #being a romantic is what is actually gonna sink me

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knickknacksandallthat · 1 year ago

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I was watching hockey the other day and the announcers were talking about how on the penguins, there are three player who are setting the record for the longest tenure as teammates. they've been playing together for 18 years, i'm sure you can see where my brain went

Anon, yessss!! Omg I can literally just see the interview now:

(Jean, Jeremy, and Kevin sitting in a room with an interviewer)

INTERVIEWER: Well, thanks for sitting down with me, guys! And listen, a few of us were just talking about this - the three of you have been together on the same team for around 10 years now, right?

JEREMY: *smiling* Yep!

JEAN: If you say so.

INTERVIEWER: Wow, that's quite the tenure! Did you know, in fact, that you three are close to setting a record within the league?

KEVIN: What record?

INTERVIEWER: Most consecutive years together on a team.

JEAN: *raises eyebrow* they have records for this?

KEVIN: Who currently holds it?

INTERVIEWER: uh...well I think it's technically Neil Josten and Andrew Minyard with the Dragons.

JEREMY: Awww, good for them!

JEAN: *snorts*

INTERVIEWER: *clears throat* well, in any case, uh...that's quite the achievement, you know? Tell us - what's your secret? What's the magic between you three?

JEREMY: *still smiling* hmm, I wonder.

KEVIN: Practice, hard work, and experience.

INTERVIEWER: Well, I'm sure the time you train together accounts for a lot, but...there's nothing...else you'd say helps?

JEAN: Like?

INTERVIEWER: Um, like...well, you know...like friendship?

JEAN: *blinking* Friendship.

INTERVIEWER: Yeah, man...I mean, after all this time, I would think the three of you have grown so close that you'd be more like bros, you know?

JEAN: *frowning now* Bros.

JEREMY: *biting lip silently against grin* Ohhhh, right. Got it. Yeah man, for sure. Bros.

INTERVIEWER: Exactly! Homies, man.

KEVIN: *tone dripping with derision* Homies.

INTERVIEWER: Three dudes with the most sacred of all bonds - sports.

JEREMY: *now shaking with repressed laughter* Oh, for sure, my dude. Homies. Brotherly bonding. Soooooo hetero. The most.

(Kevin turns to scowl at Jeremy.)

INTERVIEWER: You know, it actually kind of surprised many of us that you didn't end up on a team with Neil and Andrew, Kevin. If anyone, those two are who many of us would have thought you'd be setting this record with.

JEREMY: Oh my god. *doubles over laughing*

JEAN: *smirking* Yes, tell us, Kevin. Why aren't you on a team with Neil and Andrew? Accomplishing this sacred connection of brotherly bonding?

KEVIN: *pinches bridge of nose with fingers before sighing* Let's just say being on the same team with them at the Olympics is more than enough.

KEVIN: *grumbles under breath* The damn pair of menaces.

-------------------

INTERVIEWER: Josten and Minyard, we were just out talking to your rivals on the West Coast last week - Jeremy Knox, Jean Moreau, and your former PSU teammate, Kevin Day, from the Warriors.

*Both stare silently at him*

INTERVIEWER: *coughs* Right, so, we were just saying how that trio is coming up on your record for teammates with the most time spent together on one team.

NEIL: And? What's your point?

INTERVIEWER: *loosens tie* oh, well, there was a little curiosity, I guess, around why Kevin chose that team instead of coming to play for the Dragons - with the two of you, I mean, his former teammates. Um...do you know why that is?

NEIL: Because Andrew would probably stab him.

INTERVIEWER: I...what?

NEIL: *waving hand back and forth* Yeah, I'd probably give it two weeks at most.

INTERVIEWER: ...

NEIL: See, Kevin would whine and nag, and Andrew would get pissed but he promised Wymack he wouldn't, no matter how much Kevin annoys him. So...yeah. It's probably better that they both stay on opposite ends of the country.

INTERVIEWER: ...

ANDREW: *pulling lollipop out of mouth* Never let a sad, forty-something year old man convince you to promise shit.

#anon this was brilliant #I had so much fun with this #thanks for letting me run with it #kerejean #kevin day #jeremy knox #jean moreau #neil josten #andrew minyard #AND THEY WERE TEAMMATES #lolz #all for the game #aftg #the foxhole court #fic asks #lovely people #thanks for ask anon!

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ozzy-boy · 5 months ago

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Hey, I loved your jealous headcanons for Cole and Scale. How do you think they would react in a scenario where Marshmallow was the one who's getting jealous.

ooooh! super interesting

Scale:

-Scale can be so oblivious sometimes...

-He's a young, attractive guy, it's no wonder he catches people's attention. Plus, with you toting him around in public for dates there's only more opportunities for others to see him.

-You understand, but can this person really not take a hint???

-Scale seemingly thinks this person is genuinely just interested in his workout routine, and not fishing for an obvious excuse to feel his muscles.

-(Uh hello??? Feeling his muscles is your job!)

-Eventually you can't take it anymore, so you grab his arm and sweetly make some excuse to drag him away.

-"WHY were you letting that person flirt with you??"

-"What? They weren't flirting with me! ....OH MY GOD THEY WERE FLIRTING WITH ME."

-Repents for your forgiveness but it's hard to stay mad at him when he didn't know. Scale isn't used to flirting and romance yet so he's bad at recognizing it sometimes.

-Although this gives you a great excuse to hang off of his arm and cuddle with him in public more often, so its really a win-win. He normally dislikes PDA but after a scare like that he's practically glued to your side.

-He's a lot more vigilant from now on.

Cole:

-I feel like this is an odd scenario, just because Cole is so obsessed with Marshmallow, it's hard to imagine that he'd give anyone else the time of day.

-It is possible, though.

-You thought that introducing Cole to your friends would be great but now you're silently seething as he apparently hits it off great with one of them.

-Cole is smart, and he's well versed in a lot of topics. The two of them are talking on and on about something you don't fully understand so rather than joining in you're just listening.

-You trust Cole and your friends but watching your normally very clingy boyfriend hold a conversation with someone else while barely looking at you kind of stings.

-Maybe you've been spoiled by his attention...

-When there's a lul in the conversation, you tug on Cole's sleeve and ask him to talk to you alone for a minute.

-You immediately relax when you're alone, and Cole picks up on it easily.

-"Darling, are you... jealous?"

-No amount of denying it works. He already knows you were. He can't help but feel... well, kind of overjoyed about it. He gets so jealous of other people around you, it's comforting that you experience the same thing sometimes.

-Pulls you in for a hug and smatters some kisses along your neck.

-"You have nothing to worry about, my dear. You're the only one who holds my desire..."

#blush blush game #ozzy writing #blush blush #blush blush scale #blush blush cole #scale #cole

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railingsofsorrow · 1 year ago

Text

Somewhere Underlined

summary: jennifer jareau would be the death of you someday, you know that and you'd probably let her. surprisingly, you weren't aware that you caused that same reaction on her, too.

pairing: jj jareau x fem!queer!reader

w.c: 4.8K

warnings/content: lots of yearning and miscommunication; angst (wouldn't be me without any angst); flirting; fear of rejection; this is not a coming out fic but it discusses the topic; description about impulsive actions & consent & acceptance; foul language at some point; murder is briefly mentioned; mentions of bad experiences regarding relationships; friendly banter; an argument; fluff; making out.

A/N: this is my entry for @the-guilty-writer pride fic challenge! I didn't chose an specific prompt. I've had this idea for a long time and when I saw this challenge I thought “oh, that's how this is going to go.” hopefully, you'll like it <3 and happy pride month!!!!

───────────────────────────────────

“I think I'm in love with her.”

You don't go around revealing your life to the first person you see. That's just not you. But have you ever been through one of those moments where your mind trails back to that person and all you can see it's her eyes, her smile, the scrunch of her nose when she's concentrated and the tilt of her head when she's confused about something?

And then, it slips out. Your heart speaks for itself, you can't control it.

“Huh?” Penelope queried, drifting her attention back to you. She has been ogling some blonde dude since the moment you came into the bar. You didn't understand the appeal. He was just an average white probably tasteless man. Penelope could do so much better, but that was none of your business.

You were ogling someone else as well, so. Hypocrite.

��Wait—what?” The blonde gripped your arm, eyes widening behind her glasses as if a realization has come to her. “Who are you in love with?”

Oh, she heard that? Somehow you thought it could have been muffled by the loud music.

You know some order thing that could be muffled? JJ and her stupid flirting with that stupid guy beside you. God, if she giggled one more time you'd break your beer bottle in your head.

You wondered what would Penelope think in case she knew who you were talking about. You've received a lot of looks because of your sexual orientation over the years and it's long gone that part of you that cared so much about what people thought of you. You were a grown woman, successful in your field and you didn't depend on anyone to survive. Especially prejudiced people. But those people in the bar, they weren't just people. They have become your family. You couldn't stop thinking if they would treat you differently if they knew you weren't straight.

“Baby girl and princess!” You step out of your inner turmoil to acknowledge a very drunk Derek Morgan. Both of his arms around yours and Garcia's shoulders. He was the touchy kind of drunk. You didn't complain and you knew by your friend's wicked grin that she wouldn't either. “Now what are you doing here moping around? There's a dance floor with plenty of space over there.”

“Oh, I can see that. Are you taking us there then?”

“I'd be more than happy too.”

Before Penelope could drag you out, you clicked your tongue under the roof of your mouth.

“Sorry, not tonight. My legs are killing me.”

Derek chuckled, shaking his head in disapproval. “Because of when we jogged after the unsub?”

Grabbing a shot of tequila and promptly throwing your head back, you straighten your back while staring back at him, a scowl present in your features.

“You call that jogging? I'm not a gym rat like you, Morgan.”

“I can see that, we need to change that!”

“Uh-huh,” you push his shoulder playfully. “Convince Spencer first and we can all wake up at five a.m together to run around the Headquarters.”

Derek yelled through the music about always getting what he wanted in the end and he wouldn't give up before Garcia whisked him away to the dance floor and they disappeared from your sight.

A smile lingered on your lips until you realized the golden strands almost touching your arm and your mood went sour again. Thankfully or not, you could no longer hear the flirting, maybe the alcohol was being effective and numbing your eardrums.

“A pretty face like that cannot carry anything but a smile.”

Really, someone was about to get punched tonight and you wouldn't be responsible for your choices. What would it take for you to be alone and sad for a few minutes— “Oh,” you blinked at Emily, shoulders sagging in relief. “It's you.”

You saw her grin through the glass she was sipping on. “Don't act so excited.”

“It's not that.” You rolled your eyes. “I thought it was another asshole trying to get my number. I'm so done with men tonight.”

“Hey,” she raised her glass, mentioning your beer. As you did, you clicked them together. “Preach. We should kill all of them.”

You leaned on her arm, face splitting into a shit-eating grin. Yes, the alcohol was finally in your system. “Such a good idea I could kiss you for it.”

There was some cheering going around and when you looked back at the dance floor, Penelope was the center of attention. Hotch and Rossi looked like they were having the time of their lives watching the scene, while Blake cheered her on just as strongly as everyone else.

Sometimes, you wished you had Penelope's confidence. She'd walk into the room with colorful clothes and heels decorated by herself and she'd own it. That was your best friend. Spontaneous, strong and one of the best people you knew.

If you had half of that confidence you might have confessed your stupid feelings for the woman you were head over heels for. You had to watch her flirt with someone else right in front of you as if it didn't make your heart break because you wanted it to be you instead.

“Kiss me then.”

Spinning around to stare at Emily, you blinked confused. “Uh?”

“You said you'd kiss me,” Emily tilted her head, her dark strands slipping out from behind her ear and covering half of her face. “Do it then.” Her tone had a tinge of playfulness but even in your inebriated state, you saw the truth between the lines.

You'd never thought of Emily as more than someone you could share everything with. She's been your friend since you entered the Bureau, shy and isolated, she helped you get out of your shell and admit your true persona. She knew everything about you, even more than Penelope, your best friend. Being Queer was something that Emily had a lot to say about and it brought you two closer. To both of you, it was nice to speak without stepping on eggshells, fearing you'd be looked at differently by your friends.

You were aware she's beautiful. Of course you were, you're not blind. Emily Prentiss was powerful and she radiated grace wherever she walked. That's just something you never... thought about. You never thought that boundary could be crossed.

Until now.

“Do you really want me to?” You asked, glancing down at her shiny lips. Another thing you knew about Emily, she hates lipstick, her go-to choice would always be plain chapstick or lipgloss.

Emily brushed a strand of hair behind your shoulder, leaning forward. Your nose barely touching. “I wouldn't mention it if I didn't want it.” You smiled at that, just as you were about to close the gap between you and say fuck it for everything and everyone else that was in your head, a hand on your shoulder pulled your back, slightly startling you.

Emily blinks dazed at someone behind you, her face twitching in confusion.

But JJ says your name and you freeze, “A word, please?”

She walks away and you are conflicted on whether you should follow like a kicked puppy or stay with Emily and carry on with... Who are you kidding? This is Jennifer you're talking about. Is there any moment you've ever said no to her?

This is pathetic — you think, stumbling into people as you walked to the exit where you presumed JJ was going. She had vanished a minute ago and there were so many people you couldn't see where she went.

You're pathetic. She just interrupted your kiss with a pretty girl and you're following after her like a starved stray dog—unless. Unless something happened and she needed you.

“Jen,” you said carefully, finally outside the bar where she awaited you. You couldn't see her face because she had her back facing you. “Hey, you okay? Did something—”

“What was that?” She cut you off. As she wiped around to face you, you saw her flared cheeks. That could only mean two things: angry or drunk. She looked fine for someone drunk, different from you who was almost floating at your feet. She said your name again, this time more calculated. “You and Emily? When did that happen?”

A laugh of astonishment left your lips. Were you hearing it right? “Was that why you called me over here?” you really wanted to be sure before you blurted out something you didn't want.

JJ scoffed, folding her arms over her chest. That was one of the cutest reactions you find endearing about her, but now it just frustrated you. It frustrated you because you still found her cute despite her irrationality.

Focus!

Before you could spar anything back, someone bumped into you causing you to stumble forward, almost falling flat on the sidewalk if familiar arms hadn't held you in place. Her perfume reached you fast than two bottles of beer and five shots of tequila could ever do. The sweet smell of orange blossom made you almost melt in her arms. When you stepped back into reality, you noticed your head was on her shoulder as her whole body shook.

She was too busy yelling and gesticulating angrily at whoever had bumped into you to realize you were drunk on her perfume.

“Are you okay? The idiot was too drunk, he almost ran you over— Are you okay?” She repeated, tone softening at the end as she cupped your face and saw your unfocused gaze. “I think we should sit you down.”

“I'm fine,” you sputtered out, leaning into her touch absentmindedly. Why were her hands better than your pillow? You could sleep right there.

“Sure, you are.”

It took you five minutes for you to breathe into a new setting. One you knew too well, the discreet scent of strawberry she'd spray around. That was her car.

“JJ,” you said, rubbing your eyes tiredly. You should have drank more because you could feel yourself sobering up. “Why did you bring me here? Can't we just talk tomorrow?”

If you could avoid the inevitable, you'd do it while you could.

She stayed silent. You huffed out a breath of disbelief when you turned the side and saw her staring straight forward.

“Okay.” You spat, hand on the door handle. “I'll see you—”

“Don't leave.”

“Why not?” Your fist clenched in the handle. “You're acting like a child and I don't even know what I did.”

Letting out a long sigh, she said, “I'm sorry."

You hated the way your body reacted to her. Chest searching to cure whatever caused that tinge of sadness in her voice.

“What happened?” You inquired softly.

She shifted on the seat, raising both of her hands to pull her strands back.

“You did.”

If you hadn't sobered up before, you sure we're sober now.

“Me?” you croaked out, studying her in what you judged to be nonchalant but it was actually quite desperate. What had you done to make her upset? You barely spoke the entire night.

In fact, you were trying to take some distance from the blonde for a while. It was the healthiest option you found instead of reciprocating the casual compliments and innocent touching. Because JJ did those things but it was out of friendship. When you did them, you wanted more. You felt more. That had to stop. Once you fell, it was unstoppable. Free falling straight to the rocks. And you'd be the only one banged up in the process due to something you created in your own head.

But you already fell, didn't you? That's what you blurted out to Penelope an hour ago. You were doomed ever since she said Hi to you in the bullpen on your first roundtable meeting.

Either way, you took some space. Speaking only the necessary and exchanging point of view during cases. She didn't seem to care so you guess you didn't make a difference in her life. Did it hurt? Yes. But you wouldn't ruin what was left of your friendship.

“What did I do?” You bit your cheek, afraid she would throw at your face exactly what you were afraid of: she knew about your feelings and she didn't want to be around you anymore. She felt disgusted by you and—

“You mean what you were about to do.”

Your hand moved from the handle to your lap as you shifted your whole body to face her. “I— what?” What was she even talking about?

JJ heaved out a frustrated breath and her gaze finally met yours. It wasn't cold like when she had brought you outside, it was warm, like a volcano about to erupt in lava.

“God, you don't see it, do you?” Your face caved in confusion. “Why did it have to be Emily? And out of all the places you could do that did it have to be by my side?”

It was as if her anger had rubbed off on you instantly.

“What?” You snapped. “You're mad because Emily and I almost kissed by your side?” A humorless laugh escaped you, you didn't even care that she was bothered by what she had seen. You were mad because she interrupted you to screw with your mood. “Oh, I'm sorry, Jennifer. Did I interrupt your trashy flirting with Johnny Depp?”

Her brows reached her hairline in surprise. She isn't expected you to have any reason to be mad, but apparently, you were. Very much. You never called her Jennifer, it felt so wrong. She almost felt guilty.

No, she did feel guilty. Immediately after the words escaped her mouth. Why was she making you justify anything? You weren't her girlfriend. You weren't her anything. Just like she wasn't your anything.

“You really are a hypocrite, you know?” You carried on, jaw clenching. “You've been all over that guy and I had to watch the entire night — when I'm supposed to be having fun — and I'm just— I didn't say anything. Because I have no right to say anything. You can do whatever you want with your life and we're not—” you sucked in a breath, stopping some words from leaving your lips. “—it's not fair, JJ!”

JJ was speechless, completely taken aback by your garrulous speech. By how you ran out of breath, it looked like you had been bottling up all of that.

“And you know what? I won't apologize for what you saw. If you're bothered by the fact that I feel attracted to women—”

“Whoa, wait.” She almost got a neck twist at the insinuation, her whole armor falling. “You think I'm upset because I saw you kiss a girl?”

“You cockblocked the situation so I didn't get to kiss her—”

She completely ignored your jab. “This has nothing to do with you.” The look you gave her was enough for her to realize she has just messed up continuously. Really, she called you out here to argue about something that is entirely her issue. It might involve you — it most definitely does, you're the center of it — but it is not your fault. It's hers.

Jennifer Jareau is a hypocrite. She knows that.

“I couldn't care less about who you kiss or what your sexual orientation is,” JJ clarified. “I mean, if you ever feel comfortable talking about it— I'm all in for it. But I'm not— that doesn't bother me. That's not what I intended for it to sound like. I'm sorry.”

Your eyes skim over the features, searching for any sign of lies; the only emotion you were able to find was regret.

“I had a problem with who you were about to kiss,” she added quietly, munching on her lower lip. A couple crossed the street to reach the bar entrance, they were laughing and holding hands. Diverting her attention down to her hands, she started feeling bad about the situation. Acting like this — angry? That wasn't her. JJ wasn't impulsive nor did she go rough on expressing her feelings. She knew that alright. There's been a lot of times where she wore her heart on her sleeve but none of those times were regarding her love life. She's always been cautious, maybe because in the past, people haven't been cautious with her heart and she had to deal with it by herself. Alone.

Also, she wasn't sure about her feelings for you. Not until a week ago, when your absence started shadowing her days more and more.

JJ never fell in love with a woman before. Sure, she's had crushes and was attracted to some but. They weren't you. None of them were you. Somehow, when you came along, her life was flipped upside down. She wondered how could someone question all of their beliefs because of one person? When she met you, the question switched to how could someone not question everything because of one person?

Oh, but she fell hard. No parachute in sight and she was terrified of heights.

Between innocent touches on the shoulder, compliments and shared coffees in the morning, and the willpower to just protect you at all costs when you were in the field... something blossomed. And it couldn't have been anyone else.

That's the reason she was so mad when you and Emily almost... Yes. Not only that but how dare you ignore her for weeks and act as if you weren't doing it?

Did her absence in your life not mean anything?

“Did you and Emily fight?” You questioned, brows knitting together. “You looked fine this morning.”

JJ ran a hand through her face, “No, we didn't fight,” she let out impatiently.

“Then why—”

“Because I have feelings for you!” She blurted out. “And I wish it was me. I wish it was me who you were touching and giggling and blushing with, not her.” Okay. What was that thing about not being impulsive? In her defense, she wasn't like this before you barged into her life, so it was all on you. “I wish I was her, to be more specific and to just further bury myself under. I wish it had been me in her place.”

The softness of her voice revealed how apprehensive she was in saying that. You wanted to pluck out the lines of concern on her forehead, but at the same time, you thought you had gone crazy. You didn't hear JJ saying she wanted to kiss you, did you? Maybe you were still drunk.

“Are you going to say something?” Her voice was small and you blinked awake.

“I— I don't—”

“I'm sorry.”

Your breath halted.

“Why?”

JJ let out a shaky breath, shaking her head with a groan. “Because I just ruined everything.” Before you could protest, she carried on. “I made you think you had done something wrong and it was all me. I shouldn't have said anything, I'm just— I'm sorry—”

“Did you mean it?”

“... what?”

Your eyes traveled through her features, “What you said before.”

Swallowing hard, she avoided your eyes. “About my feelings? Yes. I wouldn't joke about that.” Something came to her mind and her back straightened slightly. “And also about not being bothered by your sexual orientation,” JJ said. “You're still you and that hasn't changed. It won't change. That would be pretty hypocrite of me, actually.” That last part fell from her lips as a whisper but you could hear it loud and clear.

You felt your throat closing up. “Really?” you asked, that kid in you that was rejected many times by her parents turned up on the doorstep of your brain. She was still scared. Still looking for acceptance.

“I love you the way you are, why would it change anything?”

Your heart stopped beating. Nothing could be heard around you, even though the windows were rolled down and there were few people on the streets, speaking loudly. The bar buzzes with loud music.

You didn't even know if you remembered how to breathe.

JJ seemed to be on the same page because she hadn't moved but her eyes were widened in shock. Taken aback by herself. She wasn't remotely drunk to blurt out stuff like that, the opposite actually.

“JJ—”

“I'm sorry, I didn't—”

“JJ,” you said shortly, making her shut up. “Stop,” you ordered even if she had already. The air was heavy, you could taste it bitter in your tongue. Your hand reached out to hers as you leaned closer as her throat bop up and down rapidly.

Jennifer's mind was juggling between multiple emotions but the moment your fingers brushed hers, it all became silent. It was impressive the way her body reacted to your touch. It slipped her mind from those days you barely exchange a good morning, she doesn't ever want to get to a point where she can't feel it.

“This isn't a joke, right?” Her gaze lifted to yours. God, had she been staring at your mouth this whole time?

“No,” she breathed out. “No, it isn't.” Her eyes dropped again, but she got it together in time. “That's not how I wanted you to find out. I'm not sure if I ever wanted you to find out...”

She watched as your lips twitched slightly and your tongue danced through them slowly. Expecting you to run to the hills as soon as she let the truth slip out, bewilderment reached her senses when that's what you didn't do. You stayed. And you were still there, staring at her, unmoving.

Until you retracted your hand from hers on the car seat to touch her cheek carefully. Your lips moved but she couldn't hear a thing.

“Uh, what?”

“It is okay if I...” She was nodding before you could finish speaking and her lips had crashed to yours in full force. Impulsiveness. That's all her. Then, she leaned back, covering her mouth, blue eyes widened when the reality of what she had done came.

You made a sound of protest because of the sudden withdrawal. When you saw her face, it was as if a bowl of cold water had dropped right above your head. She regrets it. She hates me now, she's—

“I'm sorry. I didn't even—I'm sorry, that was out of line, I didn't mean to— I'm so sorry.”

Tilting your head to the side in confusion, you questioned, “Wait, does that mean that you didn't want to kiss me or—”

JJ gave you a look of surprise, “I didn't know if you wanted it, which clearly is not the case and I'm sorry—”

Relief flushed your fear down the drain and you could finally feel the air entering back into your lungs. You started laughing uncontrollably. Feeling eyes burning in your side profile, you raised a hand in a silent request to wait until the fit reached a stop. A minute later, you were red, but you could speak.

Just as JJ started to apologize again, you shut her up by cupping her cheeks and closing the gap between your lips. Like she had done beforehand, albeit softer. Her eyelashes tinkled your cheeks and the baby hairs at the nape of her neck were being brushed by your nails, it didn't take long for her hands to start trailing down your arms. You felt her smiling into the kiss.

“You don't hate me?” she asked in between pecks.

You let out a hum, “I hate you so much—” another kiss “... that I can't stop kissing you.” JJ huffed out a laugh and you kissed down the blush in her cheeks. "I asked if I could kiss you first, silly." She mumbled something along the lines of oh, right.

“So, uh, wait, I—” She stuttered out and you leaned back. “About what I said before. I really am sorry. I was being an idiot. And of course, you can kiss whoever you want to kiss I was just—”

“Jealous?”

Her eye roll was the reply you needed.

“I don't know. Maybe.”

You pressed your lips together, “Okay.”

JJ lifted her eyes to you again, studying your features for a while. She had this unreadable expression from which you couldn't identify the meaning to.

“What?” you asked softly. She smiled, brushing a strand of your hair behind your ear.

“Nothing. You're beautiful.”

You blinked, not expecting to hear that, which only made her grin widen. “It's not exactly how I imagined our first kiss to be.”

“Oh?” You mocked, recovering from the previous compliment. “So you've been imagining it?”

“Yes. More times than I can count.” She let her back rest against the seat, eyes never drifting from you. You had missed the feeling of her gaze on you, you had missed just admiring her daily. Now that she was there, in front of you, swollen lips and flushed cheeks — because of you — you didn't know what to do. It was too good to be true.

Did she love you as she said before? Was this just a one-time thing? Would she regret it in the morning?

So many questions you wanted answers to but you didn't want to leave that moment.

She called out your name gently, thumb drawing invisible patterns on your hand. “Hey,” she cooed. “What are you thinking?”

You shook your head, waving it off. “Nothing.”

Both of you chose to dive into silent touches and soft mumbling, just enjoying each other's presence. You didn't care about partying inside and a part of you felt smug that she chose you over that man sitting beside her at the bar.

She was playing with your rings, commenting on each one until you let out a groan and she looked up at you questioningly. You stared at the console, your lips turning down in a frown.

“What it is?” She asked, suppressing a grin. You looked cute acting so annoyed.

“There's too much space between us, Jareau. I don't like this.”

“I'm afraid that that's what happens when I'm in the driver seat and you're in the passenger seat, doll.”

Your nose twitched at the endearment and your face immediately flared up.

She grinned.

“Do you want to go on a date with me?” Her grin turned into a soft smile. She kept staring at you awaiting an answer in expectation, your eyes followed the spark of anxiety in her eyes and the ways her hands had become clammy on yours. No need to be a profiler to realize she was nervous. Not that you weren't about to hyperventilate yourself, but maybe her reaction meant that she wanted something more and not just tonight.

You weren't sure of that before.

“You really want to do this?” You brought one of her hands to your cheek, leaning into her warm palm. JJ stroked the spot softly. “I mean, do you want to—”

“Be something?”

You gave her a coy smile.

“I don't want to scare you off,” she added, intertwining your hands while leaning forward. “But, if you want to—”

“I do.” You cut her off, biting your lip once you realized you did. “I'd love to go on a date with you, Jen. You know,” you paused. “I don't know if that wasn't clear enough, but I feel the same.”

Laying her forehead on yours for a minute, you saw the corner of her lips quirk up slightly. “It'll take me a while to get my head around that.”

“I've been smitten with you for like... forever.”

“That is so not true!”

You gaped at her. “Yes, it is!”

JJ rolled her eyes, “If you say so.” Before you could retort stubbornly, she pecked your lips. “I do care an enormous amount about you, you know that?” I love you, actually. But that's too soon and I can wait to say it at the right time.

Your hand curled around her wrist as if you were afraid she would leave forever. She kissed your cheek, hand nudging out of your grip to intertwine your fingers in a swift motion as if she had read your mind and this was her way of saying I'm not going anywhere.

“I care an enormous amount for you, too, Jennifer Jareau.”

#criminal minds fanfiction #reader insert #jj jareau x reader #jj jareau x queer!reader #jj jareau imagine #wlw #jennifer jereau x reader #jj x reader

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hellssheep · 23 days ago

Text

Chapter 5: Big Truth, Small Justice

Amanda wakes up to see that Riley is already driving to Shaun’s place. She turned around to check on Wooly to see if he was sleeping alright. He is himself once again, and is still asleep during the ride. Amanda really wanted to wake him, but she is aware that Wooly likely had a much more stressful night than Amanda has. It's probably best to let him sleep a bit more. She moved the seat back to a near 90° angle.

“Good morning Amanda.” Riley greeted her. “Did you sleep well?”

“Kinda.” She responded as she stretched her limbs. “Im gonna miss my bed tho.”

“I know, I miss mine already too. The problem is that Hameln will probably expect us to go back at some point. I don't wanna risk any of you guys ending up in their hands again.”

“Yea, that would be awful.”. Amanda looked back at Wooly, finally waking up from his slumber. “How long until we get to Shaun’s house or something?”

“Fifteen more minutes. It won't take long.”

“We… Are you going to the house of that store owner?” Wooly asked as he is still a little groggy from waking up.

“Yea, we are.” Riley answered

“Morning Wooly!” Amanda greeted him. “How are you feeling?”

“I'm not really sure. Tired to be honest.”. Wooly scratched the back of his neck, before his eyes widened as if he just remembered something. “W-w-wait a minute. Did…did I really fight off a pack of giant rats last night?”

“Yep, you sure did.”

“No… hecking… way. That felt like a dream. H…how many was it?”

“Five, but not all at once. Actually, Riley helped with one of them. You did kill two of them if that's what you mean.”

This still left Wooly speechless for a few seconds. It's still a pretty appropriate response to slay monsters with your bare hands and zero combat experience. “That is still unbelievable. Aren't they double my size?”

“They are at least a foot or two bigger than you, but only when you are in your Hellhound form.”

“My gods. Di…did I hurt anyone again that time?”

“Just the Husk Rats, and they deserve it if it makes you feel any better.”

“Husk Rats?”

“Yea. That's what Hameln called them apparently.”

“Of course it was them,” Wooly sarcastically mumbled. “What else do they want from us? Ugh, I shouldn't have trusted them in the first place.” Amanda is too familiar with that mistake as well. Hamelin even tricked Sam into agreeing to it, and it caused him his freedom and his daughter. That's what usually happens when you are too gullible and not skeptical enough.

They sat in silence for a moment. Amanda has a question she is wanting to ask:

“What is it actually like…for you to be that… that creature?”

“I don't really know how to explain it. you would not understand. I m… might jumble some words up.”

“I don't really mind. I'll try my best to understand.”

It took a few seconds for wooly to think. He took a deep breath, calmly exhaled, and finally told Amanda “It’s like… my mind is shared with another… more primal mind. Sometimes everything becomes a blur if it’s… conscience overpowers mine.”

“Oh, like Dissociative Personality Disorder or something?” Riley asked.

“I don’t… I don’t even know what that is.”

“Oh. umm… nevermind. You should put on your seatbelts by the way.”

Wooly noticed that he doesn't have his seatbelt on him. “Oh right. Thanks for reminding me." He politely told them as Wooly finally buckled himself in.“...Anyways, I felt… kinda strong in some way. To be specific, I have incredible strength, speed and agility that I didn't know I had, and an incredible sense of smell and hearing. It's pretty neat and all, but… I feel powerless to the beast that I share that horrid form with. He…He has half of the control over my behavior, and it is stronger when our emotions are the same or if my conscience isn't there at the moment.”

“What do you mean about the last part?” Amanda asked

“Like… um… the best way I could explain it is… if I was paralyzed behind the plane’s control and the passenger took the wheel instead. Does that make sense?”

“Oh okay. I can kinda see that. If an autopilot has its own conscience and animalistic behavior?”

“Yea, more like that. Regardless, it's actually pretty scary because… I can't entirely predict when it will control me… or what it will do if it did. The scariest thing of all is the fact that I…I might harm someone I care about.”

Amanda is aware of the struggle poor Wooly is going through. She tried to put her hand on his shoulder, but she couldn't reach from the front seat, so she unbuckled her seat and moved her way to the back.

“Amanda, stay seated please? We don't want a nasty accident.” Riley told her in a concerned tone.

“Sorry Riley. It’s for a good cause.”. Amanda rebuckled next to Wooly and comforted him. “Wooly, you don't have to worry about that. Unlike last time, you were able to not attack us.”

“I guess so. It's probably because I was consciously able to convince them that those Husk rats are a bigger threat than you guys.”

“Wait. You could talk to it?”

“I think I can communicate with it and it kinda communicates back. I thought it just wants me to suffer, but all It wants is for me to survive so it can remain alive as well. The only problem is that it does not trust ‘human mortals’ very well, which is why it attacked you. All it is doing is trying to protect itself.”

“Oh.”. Amanda never thought of that. She was given the impression that Demons were alive since the beginning of time, knowing that people are less of a threat and more of a play thing. Can there be demons who haven't even seen the overworld? Perhaps cults like Hameln are trying to figure that out.

Amanda asked “Well, If you are capable of talking to that demon in your head, could you ask why it doesn't trust people, and what its experience is like on earth?”

“I don't know if it is able to answer that. It's not an alien Amanda?” Wooly commented. Amanda laughed at that joke, and Wooly chuckled a bit too.

“You know what I meant.”

“Yea…yea. Maybe I will. By the way, thanks for everything you did during these few days.”

“ You're welcome, Wooly.”

Amanda thought for a moment. “You know what? I wonder if…” she reached her hand behind wooly’s ear. Wooly was confused by her gesture, but as soon as she started scratching the right spot, the inner canine kicked in. his tail starts wagging a little, his eyes closed in bliss and leans into her hand, his leg starts kicking the air involuntarily. Amanda couldn't help but giggle at how silly and cute it is. As soon as Wooly is aware of what's happening, he backs away from her hands, and gently pushes them away.

“Wha hey. That's… cut it out. It's weird for me at this moment.”

“Sorry, I just wanted to see if you would do that thing dogs do.”

“I'm not a dog.” Wooly mumbles to himself. “I'm just possessed by one from hell.”

“Whelp, I guess we're here” Riley told the kids.

The car finally stopped in front of a house in a Cul de sac. This part of the neighborhood is decorated with many flora from green grass to large trees and pushes. Every house is painted the same way, except for their roofs. It’s likely the best place for raising families due to less car activity. Half a dozen neighborhood kids are running around and playing hide-and-seek or catching a football. Amanda wanted to join them, but now is not a good time to have fun.

Amanda was about to step out of the car when Riley warned her “don't forget to blend in guys.”

“Oh, right”

“And wooly, you can just put on the hoodie this time. I forgot to leave the corset in the car.”

“Thank goodness, I'm getting tired of wearing that torture device.”

After they put on everything, Riley got out of the car. They limped as they headed towards the house. Both Wooly and Amanda finally noticed the nasty bite. It is swelling, discolored and sealed by crusted blood. It was a deep wound. Wooly followed behind them to make sure Riley doesn't lose their footing. While Amanda got out of the car, she noticed a group of kids checking out the scratch marks on the back of the car. all of them are stoked and spurious, wondering whatever happened that caused that kind of damage. It sure made a good distraction from the fact that a cartoony looking girl, an anthropomorphic sheep, and an injured person is heading towards their neighbor’s home.

As soon as they made it to the door of the house, Riley rang the doorbell. Amanda looked through the window next to the door. The interior looked pretty modern, although the house lacks much fancy decor compared to Riley’s home. from the view of the window, All she can see is a leather couch, a flatscreen TV, and a dining table. The door finally opens with Shaun on the other side of the door.

“Oh hi there Riley. I'm glad you're here this early. Come on in and have a seat while I make you something to drink.”

“Thank you.” Riley replied as they continued limping to the couch, bringing Shaun’s attention to the bite on their leg.

“Oh god.” Shaun nearly shouted in surprise. He looked at Wooly and Amanda and saw that she was also bearing signs of injuries. “Riley? Auderey? What happened to the both of you?”

“It's a long story. But first, we need to see the recording of the incident.”

“Right. I will do that as soon as I take care of both of you guys. Especially you Riley. You need medical attention. You stay right there.”. Shaun left the living room to look for a medkit.

“Not like I could go anywhere, but Thank you. ”

______________________________________________________________

Eventually, Shaun was able to set up his laptop to show the security video. Wooly and his friends didn’t mind waiting since he provided drinks of their choice and some cookies that Shaun had bought this week. Riley’s leg has finally gotten taken care of and propped on a footrest. It was nice compared to living in a car for half a day.

Shaun went to sit down with us with a worried expression as the video started. The black-and-white video was taken in a kitchen from the ceiling perspective. Benjamin entered the kitchen area carrying cleaning equipment to the closet. There was no audio in the video, but Ben suddenly turned around towards the front counter as if he had heard something. He headed towards that direction and looked over the counter, and that is when something lunged at him. Wooly was expecting himself to be the one in the video attacking him, but thankfully, it wasn't. The video quality cleared up and revealed that it was a Husk Rat that attacked Benjamin. Two more entered the scene to join in on mauling the poor man. It ended with the Rats searching around in the kitchen area after he stopped moving.

“I expected a bear or mountain lion attack, but instead it was some sort of pack of demons who had killed him. My friend didn't deserve to die, let alone being mauled by those things.”

Wooly was glad it wasn't him that killed Ben, but still upset about his death, because Wooly still thinks that he might be the reason why the husk rats went after him. If he let Riley themself reason with Benjamin instead of dealing with it himself, it wouldn't have led Hamelin to his direction. “I'm sorry about your friend. We didn't mean to involve you guys.”

“Wait. What do you mean Wilson?”

“Well, we didn't know Hameln were gonna send monsters out to get us. If we did, we could have stayed out of town in the first place.”

“Hameln? They did this? I thought they only made toys and…and that TV show you guys cosplayed as.”

“Well, I… My name isn’t Wilson. The thing is… Hameln has been testing the dark arts and experimenting on people. We should know because… we are victims ourselves”. Wooly says this as he took off his hoodie while Amanda took off her hat. “She really is Amanda, and… I am the real Wooly.”

“Holly Shit.”. Shaun’s jaw dropped as he let everything sink in. “this can't be real. What happened to you guys? And why do you look different wi…wooly. You got horns now”

“Like I said, it's a long story” Riley told Shaun. They continued to share the story of what happened and what Hameln has done, along with how Riley started learning about the dark side of the Amanda The Adventurer show, and what recently happened. Shaun listened to every word they said, processing everything he could understand. He was very attentive, despite the stress of knowing that the people you have met are on the run from possessed rodents and attempting to expose a group of necromancy scientists. Its honestly a normal response for someone who learned that their childhood animated show was actually a simulation made to entertain people and put the young showcast through psychological torture. And to top it off, the fact that your favorite character is basically suffering from demonic lycanthropy because of them.

“...and now we have been chased out of our home and are looking for a place to live for now, and we want to learn more about Wooly’s condition. Are you okay there Shaun?”

“I…I'm trying to take all of this in. I'm aware that some big companies would do something bad or make bad decisions, but I never knew they could do something this malicious.”

“Yea, they hid their dark secrets pretty well, didn't they?” Amanda joked, laughing nervously and awkwardly.

“Poor Sam. I should have known that Hameln was the reason for his disappearance. I'm sorry for what had happened to you Rebecca.”

“Don’t worry. I'm used to it.”

“One more question. Would you rather be called Rebecca or Amanda?”

“Either of those names are okay.”

“Soooo…” Wooly interrupted, “Is there any way you could help us?”

“Well, for starters, you could live here with me. I have an extra room or two that I let visitors spend the night in. you guys can stay here with me for now. I have a few old toys up in the attic for you guys to play with”

“Nice. if there are any Hamelin products up there, I'll destroy them.” Amanda jokingly threatens.

“That would be fun.” Shaun jokes. “Buuut I'm sure we will be busy researching…whatever Wooly has, right Riley?”

“I'm not sure yet. Going back to Kate's public library would be a huge risk because of that…thing that attacked her.”

“What attacked who?” Amanda asked.

“Amanda, you know about that entity you have that protects the tapes from being destroyed? Well, Wo… There was another one that attacked someone that led me to the library. She was the one who led me to you guys.”

“Oh no, I… Riley I didn't know. I'm so sorry?”

“It's okay. It isn't your fault. None of us knew”

Wooly wasn't really sure how to feel about the news. Was Riley referring to the voice from the walkie talkie? It was probably a mistake to not trust Riley’s partner, but she showed up with them all of a sudden. After everything that happened to Rebecca, it's hard to really trust people. Break our trust and you lose it for good. Can they really trust Shaun too? Wooly is too distracted by his own thoughts at the moment.

“What do we do now?” asked Amanda again

“I guess we should relax and lay low for now. Maybe we can find out what Wooly’s inner Hellhound can do.” Riley answered. That last sentence was What finally caught Wooly’s attention.

“What!? I-I-I’m not sure that's a good idea!” Wooly shouted nervously. “I’m Unstable in that form! I would rather be in that form as little as possible!”

“Wooly, I know it's scary, but we need to try and understand this demon. Maybe we can get it on its good side, Train the both of you even.”

“I don’t think it would like that.”. Wooly fiddled with his hands nervously and his eyes wondered the ground processing what they would do to him. “Please. Please don't do this!”

He starts seeing flashbacks of all the things that Hameln has done to him. From personal experience, being experimented on means you would be prodded, probed, dissected, controlled or tortured in some way until they see results they wanted. Of course Riley wouldn't do that, but anything that involves someone experimenting on you will always result in something bad regardless. Wooly started crying in fear of what he is gonna go through.

Riley noticed that Wooly was freaking out, so they tried to reassure him. “Okay okay okay, calm down Wooly. We won’t force you into it. I'll tell you what. We can just forget about that. Maybe instead we will just learn as we go. If you do turn into a hellhound, we will try to understand how and what caused it, try to calm it, and let it stick around until you change back to normal. We will just wing it with caution and care. How does that sound?”

Wooly doesn't know how research actually works or if there are ways to do it, but it’s at least better than Hamelins. It also sounds less dreadful than what he went through. “I…guess so.”

“Good.” Riley finished. “Okay, now that we got that out of the way, what should we do to pass the time?”

A sly look formed on Amanda’s face. “Oh I have something in mind.” she answered in a mischievous tone. She giggled like how a little troublemaker would. What did she have in mind?

______________________________________________________________

The Backyard that Shaun has is pretty big compared to the house. Grass covered most of the yard, and it could have grown bigger if the brick backing wasn't there to keep it from growing into the gravel. A brick patio that came with a brick fire pit built into it also matches the brick wall. There is a lot of brick stuff. Bushes as tall as Amanda lined up in front of the brick wall, like soldiers in the military, covering the concrete-like barrier. In the far corner of the yard, there is a single, flat-topped stump that barely rotted away. Amanda was looking through a box of toys Shaun grabbed from the attic, finding the ones with the Hameln logo on them. After searching through all the storage containers in the attic, She found at least half a dozen in total. four of them are hard toys while the rest are plushies. Some are a little broken, but why try to fix them when you can destroy something from an evil corporation. Amanda couldn't wait to wreak havoc on Hameln property.

“So, which toy should we destroy first?” Amanda asked everyone who came for the rampage, specifically Riley Wooly and Shaun.

“Tough question” answered Riley “should we start off with something big, or end it with a bang?”

“Oh… I can… hm…”. It came to Amanda’s realization that she hadn't made many decisions when she was behind a television screen. She is usually the one who asks the questions to the viewer, never the other way around. She rarely took her decisions in her own hands, only to do so if the viewer is not being cooperative. Despite the limited power she has in the tapes, she had always relied on the choices of the viewer to mold her world. Now she has a choice that could change the result of this activity. Choices could either be overwhelming or exciting for anyone. As for Amanda, she was simply distracted by the thought of it, but not for long. She decided to grab the large wooden dollhouse with a pink roof and purple interior. “How about this?”

“Great choice! Guess we're going big then! Hey Shaun what do you have that's destructive?”

“Whatever is in the shed over there.” Shaun replied as he pointed towards a wooden structure on the other corner of the yard. Riley headed towards the shed, opened the paint-rotted door, and peered into it. They used the flashlight on their phone to look what's inside.

Riley turned their heads and asked Amanda “how do you wanna destroy that dollhouse?”

“Surprize me!” Amanda yelled.

Riley went into the shed, and after a moment of silence, They came out with a mini-sledge with a yellow rubber handle.

“Just like with the piggy bank, huh?”

Amanda let out a bit of a squeak of excitement, hoping in place and putting her hands together. “You know me too well Riley!”

“Can we burn it after?” Wooly finally spoke after a while.

“Whoa.” Amanda replied. “Is that you Wooly, or is that the hellhound talking?”

“Thought it would be a great way to release my repressed rage on the company. Also, we have a firepit, so we should put it to use too.”

“That is the best idea Wooly. Now, let's get to breaking.”

Shaun grabbed something from the shed for lighting up the dollhouse: a match and some ball of lint to use as tinder. He placed them on the rim of the firepit and watched as Riley swapped the hammer for the dollhouse Amanda handed to them. They placed the dollhouse atop of the log and backed away from it. While Riley did that, Amanda was putting on safety glasses, mask and work gloves to protect herself from the rogue debris. She prepared to get a firm grip onto the mini-sledge, using both her hands on it.

“You ready Amanda?” asked Riley

“ Way ahead of you.” Amanda responded with determination.

Amanda approached the dollhouse on the log, examining it and figuring out how and where she should swing the sledge at. After careful scanning and planning, Amanda rearranged her grip and positioned herself to strike the first blow. Finally, the hammer came down upon the small wooden structure in full force. The force made the roof of the Dollhouse collapse upon the first floor of the dollhouse, and bits of wood flew from it. It felt exhilarating for Amanda. She struck the house again, but from the side. This made a decently big hole through the walls. They all cheered her on to finish it off. She rotated what's left of the doll house and gave the final whack. The structure finally collapsed. Three swings is all it took to destroy the doll house.

“I AM A GOD OF DESTRUCTION!” Amanda hollered as she raised her hammer in the air with both hands.

“Yea! Way to go Amanda!” Wooly cheered.

“You go girl!” Shaun exhilarated

“That was way more fun than expected.” Amanda told them. “So, who wants to go next?”

Wooly waved his hand in the air “I do!”

He reached for a rubber rodent toy. As soon as he grabbed it, it made the sound of a squeaker. Wooly froze, and His eyes widened while his ears perked up. He turned his head to face the toy rat in his hand.

“Wooly? You're not gonna do what I think you are about to do, are you?” she asked.

He glanced at Amanda, then the toy, then back at her. There were a few seconds of silence.

Then Wooly started chewing on the rubber rat ravenously, trying to tear it to pieces. He managed to tear the head off of the fake rodent. Wooly paused to process what he did, and spat out a piece of the toy.

“Oh… um… that wasn't what I wanted to do.” Wooly told Amanda with puppy eyes. “Can I try again?”

Amanda was expecting that to happen as soon as the toy squeaked, but she couldn't help but laugh a little. “Of course Wooly. I don't see why not.”

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#amanda the adventurer #wooly the sheep #hell's sheep au #story #riley park

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dirtybitfic · 10 months ago

Text

RAVE

Chris sturniolo x fem reader

(Story line- you go to a rave and someone kissed you but something happens after the kiss and you bump into your celebrity crush Chris sturniolo as your spiraling.)

Contains- drugs, throwing up, flirting and kissing

Pink-you

Orange-Chris

Red-your best-friend

Purple-Nick

Blue-Matt

Green- the guy you end up kissing and anyone else at the rave who compliments you and shit.

You and your bestfriend had dreamed of going to a rave for years but you never managed to actually get tickets but this year you got lucky and got tickets for your dream rave .

ELECTRIC FOREST .

You had rented an air bnb kind of close to the festival cause camping did not sound appealing to either of you.

You had just gotten ready and decided that walking to the festival would be better than trying to get an Uber.

(Your outfit)

(Your bestfriends)

You both grab your phones and lock up before starting your 10 minute walk to the festival.

Oh my god I can’t believe we’re finally going to electric forest

Literally we’ve been dreaming of it for so long

Like the lights …the music …in the woods is gonna be beautiful

A spiritual experience for sure

We just gotta be careful you know some people slip shit into peoples drinks without them knowing

Yeah I know kinda scary but I’m only buying water with a cap no one is getting anything in there

Smart I honestly don’t even wanna drink I wanna fully be in the experience

Yeah same I wanna be fully in control of my body for this shit

God how much longer do we have until we reach the gates these shoes are kinda hurting

Uhhh only like 5 more minutes

Thank god

Yeah I didn’t really think about my shoe choice either

You finally reach the gates and show your wrist bands as they check the fanny pack your friend brought just so you could store your phones safely and then walked through the metal detectors. Once you were in you followed the path as the music got louder and the lights got brighter.

OH MY GOD

THIS IS SO FUCKING COOL

WERE HERE WERE ACTUALLY HERE

I KNOW WHAT THE FUCK I STILL CANT BELIEVE IT

As you guys kept walking people were roaming around talking going to the bathroom area and grabbing drinks

hey you wanna grab waters then head up to the big stage

yeah sounds good to me

You both went to buy water then made your way to the stage .

Hey I love your outfits

Thank you so much you look amazing I love your outfit so much

Thank youuu

Of course have a good time

You too

As you both approached the stage the lights went crazy as

Was playing.

Oh my god this song is good

Right brings me back to like middle school dude

Real as fuck let’s get into the crowd deeper

You both held hands tightly as you weaved through groups of people dancing around having a good time

You wanna go up further or go like middle crowd

Let’s get up further closer to the large tree line

Okay

You both got to the area you wanted to be and just started dancing around having fun with each other to some more songs .

Was playing as you both held onto each other laughing and dancing all over each other

You guys look great like those outfits wow a deep voice says from behind

You both turn to look at who said it . THE HOTEST MAN YOUVE BOTH EVER SEEN In YOUR ENTIRE LIFE. He had tattoos all over his neck ,chest and arms . He was GORGEOUS.

Thank you so much ! I love your tattoos by the way

Oh shit thank you I did most of them myself my friend who’s here with me did a good amount of them too

Wow you guys are talented. Are you a tattoo artist

Yeah we own a shop in new York

That’s so cool

Yeah it’s pretty fun he says smiling at you

So where is this friend your here with

He was following me he’s gotta be close

As he says that another super hot guy comes behind him

Hey man sorry I got caught in a big group and lost you

Nah your good man

So who are these lovely lady’s

Oh I’m y/n you say

I’m bf/n

Nice too meet you guys I’m John . I hope blain wasn’t annoying you guys he says smirking over at his friend.

Oh no not all

Would you guys care if we hung with you guys

Not at all the more the merrier you say smiling at him

He comes closer to you as his friend goes over to your bestfriend.

Blain wraps his arms around your waist from behind causing you to smile .

Is this okay

Yeah of course I don’t mind at all

You look over at your best-friend who is talking to blains friend smiling having a good time.

Starts playing as you and blain sway to the music you rest your head back on his chest.

Your both a little sweaty from how hot the June air is but it’s nice .

This song is so pretty you say looking back over your shoulder and up at Blaine

Yeah it is . I like the way you described it

Yeah it’s like cool but it’s just feels pretty

I get what you mean he says smiling down at you making you smile then look back up at the stage and lights

These lights are so fucking cool he says in your ear

You shudder a little from his breathe fanning your neck and his deep voice echoing through your ear

I know right it’s one of my favorite parts of a festival especially the glitter lights you say

Starts playing as you both continue fluidly swaying to the music as you look up the sky as a nice breeze blows over you .

Blaine spins you around to look at him as he grabs your waist and pulls you closer.

He’s significantly taller even on the shoes your wearing causing you to have to look up at him.

He smiles down at you as he lowers his face slowly til his mouth is at your ear.

Is playing as you feel his breathe hit your ear causing you to shiver a bit.

You are one of the most beautiful girls I’ve ever seen y/n

T-thank you Blaine you say getting week in the knees a bit from how close he is to you

He lifts his face a bit as he grabs his water taking a sip .

You look over at your friend to see her dancing with his friend watching the stage.

You look back at Blaine as he smiles at you and grabs your face bringing his closer.

His lips meet yours as you close your eyes and lean into the kiss immediately kissing back .

He slips his tongue in your mouth deepening the kiss . As your making out you swallow feeling something go down your throat but write it off as your mouth being dry .

He pulls away smiling down at you .

You smile at him as you spin back around too look back at the stage

Is playing as you bop your head to the beat.

Hey I’m gonna run to the bathroom

Okay sounds good

He walks over to his friend saying he’s going to the bathroom I’m guessing he had to go to so they both walk off .

Your best-friend comes back over to you smiling wide at you

I saw that kiss giiiirl they are so hot

I know right like damn also uh my mouth is dry and I need more water

Alright want me to come with

No no stay here have fun it shouldn’t take me too long I’ll just take my phone if I need you I’ll text you

Okay just be safe

I will love you be back in a sec

Love you too

You start walking through the crowd and back down the path through the trees to the drink areas

Playing as you make you walk.

Your head starts to feel fuzzy and your eyes have a hard time focusing causing you to stumble and fall into a hard object .

Whoever they are catches you

Wow you okay

I… um I don’t know you say trying to focus your eyes as you stand back up on wobbly legs

You definitely don’t look okay I mean that in the nicest way your eyes just look really weird

Y-yeah I can’t get them to focus I’m sorry for falling into you I don’t feel so normal right now

I’m sorry to ask but um did you take something

Hell no I would never ever take drugs

Your eyes finally start to focus but your limbs still feel heavy.

Did you by any chance kiss someone the guy asks causing you too look at his face causing your eyes to get wide

Did I just fall into . CHRIS STURNIOLO.you say in your head slightly still disoriented maybe you were seeing things.

I… um why would that matter

You say as you stare at him. Nope that’s definitely Chris sturniolo.

People will put pills on their tongue then kiss someone and let it go into their mouth . Pretty much drugging someone without them knowing

WHAT THE FUCK you accidentally yell In His face

S-sorry i didn’t mean to yell in your face

No your okay . But I’m guessing from that reaction you did kiss someone

Y-yeah I did but now that I think about it I felt something weird in my throat but I thought it was just my mouth being dry . Fuck how could I be so stupid

Hey hey your not stupid people are really sneaky about it it’s not your fault

It’s my fault that I’m such a whore for kissing a random guy without even thinking twice about it you say slapping your hand on your head disappointed by yourself

He grabs your hand taking it off your head

Well he was definitely hot wasn’t he he said laughing a little

Causing you to smile and laugh

Yeah sadly he was

I’m sorry he did that too you that’s really fucked up

Yeah I know how can people do that to someone else like drugs are dangerous I don’t even know what I am on right now

You say looking into his eyes . God is he beautiful through a screen but in person GOD DAMN .

Honestly it’s probably Molly or ecstasy that’s what most people bring to festivals

Fuck me dude this is bad you say starting to freak out . The last thing you expected is to be drugged your first night at the festival then stumble upon your fucking celebrity crush who has voiced he doesn’t like drugs causing you to be even more anxious knowing that this will be the way he remembers you . The drugged out girl who ran into him and waisted his night .

Where were you headed

Ummm … water I was going to get water

Okay come with me I’ll take you to get some water but uuuh… he stops talking

But what you say a bit confused

You wanna try and throw up before it fully gets in your system?

Actually that’s a good idea

Yeah okay I’ll hold your hair back but this way the trip might not come at all or at-least not as bad

Ugh Fuck okay I’m so sorry this is probably not how you wanted your night to go

No don’t apologize you definitely didn’t want your night to end up like this

No definitely not

You slowly bend over as he holds your hair back

You try pushing your fingers down your throat to make yourself throw up but it doesn’t work your fingers didn’t get deep enough .

Fuck it’s not working you say getting anxious you won’t be able to throw it up

Fuck okay try one more time for me

Mmm okay you breathe out

You try again but all it does is make your eyes water .

Fuck I can’t get deep enough . My gag reflex is barely there in the first place you say as you stand back up him still holding onto your hair

You look up at him as he looks down at you with a face you can’t read .

Okay what if I you know stick my fingers down your throat. I know that’s weird but my fingers are longer it might be the only way to get it out of your system

Oh Jesus are you sure that’s like really nasty

I’m sure I care more about you getting it out of your system then me having to stick my fingers in your mouth

Okay fine I’m sorry again this is so embarrassing

No it’s not trust me it could be way worse

Yeah your right

You bend back over as he brings his finger to you lips . You pause . Chris fucking sturniolo your celebrity crush is literally about to stick his fingers down your throat . How is this my life right now you thought .

Sweetheart you gotta open your mouth for this to work he chuckles slightly

Oh Fuck I’m sorry

You open your mouth as he slides his fingers down your throat hitting the back causing you to cough and gag on his fingers . He pulls them out as he hears you gag more .

Jesus how did you not throw up I was touching your uvula

Fuck idk maybe go deeper as deep as you can go

open back up he says causing you to laugh

Oh come on now is not the time to have a dirty mind

Sorry I’m sorry you say still laughing a bit . You look at him his face stern as his fingers move to your lips .

You look back at the ground as you open your mouth . He shoves his fingers deeper hitting the right spot as you throw up . He pulls his fingers out and that hand moves to your back rubbing softly as you get it out of your system.

That’s it’s let it out

You have tears running down your face as you gag and cough until your finally done and everything is definitely out of your system .

Your body and hands shaking a bit as you stand up and wipe your mouth .

I’m so sorry that was so disgusting

Again with the sorry . You don’t have to apologize to me about this really it’s okay

He moves his hand to your face as he rubs the tears away with his thumbs.

You smile slightly as the sweet gesture causing him to smile at you .

What he asks looking into your eyes

Nothing your just a really sweet person

Well thanks but let’s go get you that water and maybe something to eat since you just threw up everything you had all day .

yeah im really shake right now

I can see that he says laughing a little at you

hey don't laugh at me you say feeling still a bit embarrassed by the entire interaction you guys are having.

sorry sorry but come on you can hold onto my arm if you need to stay stable

you hold onto his arm as you both walk side by side slowly to the drink area.

so what's your name

y/n

nice to meet you y/n im chris

oh uhh yeah I know

oh ... you do

yeah ive watched your YouTube videos before you say awkwardly hoping that doesn't make him uncomfortable

he pauses walking

im sorry if that makes you feel uncomfortable

no no it doesn't just uhh awkward I just stuck my fingers down a fans throat he adds an awkward chuckle after

I mean I wouldn't call myself a fan tbh just someone who stumbles upon your videos sometimes for a good laugh

I get what you mean by that to be honest

im glad you do I don't want you thinking im like a crazy mega fan

honestly I don't think a crazy fan would act so chill in this situation he says as he starts walking again pulling you along with him.

yeah true honestly they would probably stutter and cry

yeah probably

you both laugh as you finally reach the drink stand

here sit down ill grab the stuff alright

oh no I cant let you pay for my stuff

no seriously its no problem just sit down

alright

you sit down as he grabs some waters and food them comes back over to you sitting next to you at the table

here you go hopefully it will make you feel a little less sick

thank you Chris seriously

of course he says with a smile

im glad you were the person I bumped into

oh yeah and why is that

honestly no-one would have even tried to help me get it out of my system or even been nice enough to notice something was wrong

yeah I guess your right about that most people would have just kept walking

you both are sharing fries he had gotten as you just share glances here and there.

so are you here alone or with people

im here with my best friend

ahh I see why didn't she come to get water with you

I told her to stay back I thought I was fine just had a dry throat

rookie mistake huh

Maybe but I wouldn't have met you so maybe it wasn't so bad she didn't come with me

he just looked at you smiling rolling his eyes playfully

so who did you come with

nick and matt and a couple other people

oh fun honestly im a little shocked raves don't really seem like your type of crowd

I mean I guess not but a brand sent us all here for promotions of their clothes that we have to wear every night so you know we thought why not

damn that's so cool ive dreamed of coming to this rave for years

so this is your type of thing

yeah I love raves and concert their like my happy place

yeah I get that music is one of my favorite things

yeah I don't know how life would be if music didn't exist

life would suck everyday would be dull and boring

I always like to say that music brings color to the world . I don't know if that makes sense but ... you look over at him seeing he's already staring at you . his eyes are soft and the smile on his face makes your breathe catch . he's looking at you with such love it makes you nervous.

w-what did I sound dumb

no that was just ... such a beautiful way to put it. I like the way you think

oh thank you you say as your checks flush pink from his compliment

no problem

I should probably call my friend ive been gone for a while I don't want her to freak out

yeah that's probably a good idea

you call your bestfriend

Hey are you okay you've been gone for a while

yeah im okay but um are Blaine and his friend back with you

ummm yeah why

you know how we kissed earlier

girl yeah obviously he was practically eating your face

yeah well um... he had a pill in his mouth and when we kissed he put it in mine and drugged me

WHAT THE FUCK Y/N ARE YOU OKAY NEED ME TO COME FIND YOU

no no im safe actually um I ran into someone... he helped me get it out of my system and we grabbed water and food

mmm okay why did you sound so weird when you said someone

ill give you a hint okay ummmm cc

girl wtf is this Morris code how could I ever guess what ccmeans

oh my god okay guy who ive showed you before

OH CELEBRITY CRUSH

yeah bitch Jesus I feel like that was an easy guess

no it fucking wasn't

alright whatever anyways yeah that's where I am right now

so your telling me you are sitting ... with Chris sturiolo because you casually bumped into him as you slowly started tripping

yeah pretty much that's exactly what happened

you have insane luck I swear to god

I know right what are the odds

so how are you feeling as of right now

still weird my limbs are heavy my eyes keep loosing focus and my brain feels foggy

any other feelings im just trynna figure out what it could have been that he uh you know

I don't know like what do you mean

well Molly makes you insanely horny so is that a feeling your having at all

ummm I don't think so but who knows if however much made it into my system has hit yet

I feel like you'd feel that by now so we can count that out . what about like your vision you been seeing things like weird shapes and colors

nope

fuck then idk maybe it did all get out of your system fast enough

yeah maybe hopefully that's the case

yeah lets hope so ... so im guessing you puked it up

yeah his idea of course

hes smart

I know right I would be tripping balls right now if I didn't run into him so praise the lords for him

for real but omg you threw up in front of your celebrity crush

don't remind me like how embarrassing is that and that's not even the worst part dude

how could it get more embarrassing

oh idk maybe the fact that I couldn't do it myself sooo

nooo y/n tell your joking he did not

yep sure fucking did

wow just wow

yeah not so pleasant but um im gonna finish off this food hopefully ill stop shaking soon and then ill head back to you but maybe move away from Blaine and his friend I don't want so be around him at all after what he did

oh girl I already moved the second you said he drugged you im closer to the middle now by the vip area

okay ill try my best to find you ill see you in a bit

okay just please be safe and no more kissing strangers

trust me im not planning on it

alright love you just look for the big pink bubble looking thing and im right bye that

okay big pink bubble thing got it love you bye

you hang up and look back over at chris

all good with her

yep she moved spots so that will be super fun trying to find her

don't worry ill help you im actually in the vip pink bubble thing so I know exactly where that is

oh thank god

you wanna head back to the stage or are you still shaky

im still super shaky and feeling really hot actually

really it doesn't feel that hot its cooled down a bit from earlier

really

yeah it like 48 degrees right now

shit I feel like its 100 degrees

y/n look at me

what why

just look at me

you look over at him his eyes widen as he looks at you eyes

wh-what why are you looking at me like that

your pupils are blown

fuck we didn't get it out of my system fast enough

judging by your eyes and the fact you feel hot and shaky probably not

fuck me this is bad like really bad

lets get back to your friend before it really hits and shit hits the fan

okay good idea

you both get up and start your walk back to the stage and crowd

as your walking back you start to stumble as your vision blurs

shit y/n you good

mmm y-yeah just my vision is a little blurry right now

come here he says as he pulls you closer

fuck your skin feels really hot

yeah tell me about it

he spins you around to face him .

you look up at him as his eyes move around your face with a slightly worried expression.

he moves his hands to your waist holding you tightly as you slightly started to lean back on uneven legs

you look into his eyes. Then study his facial features and the feel of his hands on your waist as your mind goes back to his fingers shoved in your mouth.

A wave of butterflies goes through your stomach as waves of heat flood your lower half.

fuck . I think it was definitely Molly .You thought as you started to feel the effects

why are you looking at me like that

like what you slur out

like you wanna eat me alive

w-what I wasn't

yes you were

im sorry I didn't mean to I just ummm I think its kicking in

what are you feeling

trust me you don't want to know

yeah I do he says as he brings his face closer to yours.

your breathing gets heavier .

lets just say .. it was definitely molly

oh ... OH uhhh well then

like I said you didn't wanna know

well at least now we know what type of trip your having .What type of asshole gives a girl Molly at a rave

I don't know but we all know what Molly does to people maybe he was trying to get me hot and bothered but that's fucked up . why give a girl drugs for that

there's definitely easier ways to get that effect that drugging a girl

Yeah like his tattoos were working well enough he could have I don’t know said things in my ear waited until the festival ended tonight and asked me to come back to his place

That is true I just don’t get guys like him

Me neither

You think your good to keep walking

Yep let’s just take it nice and slow my vision is crazy right now especially with the lights

Yeah your pupils are dilated as fuck probably making your sight super sensitive

Yeah your probability right you move to his side as he keeps an arm around your shoulder now keeping you close just incase you stumble again

Your mind wanders back to him holding your hair with his fingers down your throat as he spoke sweetly to you to let it out. Even though the actions were to help you puke your guts up . They were so dirty when you forgot about that detail .

What you thinking about he asks looking down at you smiling

Oh ummm nothing

No that pretty little mind was wandering I could tell by the smirk on your face

I wasn’t thinking was just looking ahead at the lights you try to play it off hoping he’d drop it . The last thing you want is to have to explain to him that the Molly is making your mind wander to his fingers in your mouth making you horny as a mother fucker.

Your lying to me right now

What Chris no I’m not just drop it

I’ll drop it for now but we’ll circle back later

You sigh and roll your eyes at him and you finally reach the crowd as the music is loud as ever and the lights are going crazy.

Was playing causing you to smile and look up at Chris

What you smiling for

I love this song

Yeah it’s pretty good

So where is this pink bubble bitch

Woah why are you calling me a bitch

No not you I wasn’t calling you a bitch I’m sorry

Your fine I’m only joking but it’s this way he says pulling you to the left

You start walking with him your limbs finally starting to move normally even though they still feel fuzzy.

Hey you stopped shaking and your skin isn’t as hot

Yeah but uhh all the other effects are still very much here

Mmm should I let go is that making it worse

No no your good I just gotta keep my mind on other things

Alright then he chuckles

Sorry that probably sounded weird I promise I wasn’t saying your hand on my waist was making me uh you know just uh

Your fine but you know if it was I would not be offended he says smirking down at you

Oh shut up you say smiling and playfully showing him a bit

I’m kidding he says making you look at him with a “you sure about that�� expression

Okay maybe I wasn’t kidding but what were you smirking about earlier

Nope not telling you it’s gonna make this weird

Now you have to tell me that made me even more curious

Chrisss come on it’s to weird for me to say

I promise I won’t judge just tell me and we can blame it on the drugs if it’s that bad

Fuck ok fine I was… thinking about you having your fingers down my throat . You quietly said the last part from how weird it felt saying it out loud

Sorry what I couldn’t here you

I was thinking about your fingers down my throat okay there I said it . You cringed after saying it .

You look up at him as he stopped walking

I made it weird didn’t I

No you didn’t actually hate to say it but it was kinda hot even though you know the reason I did it wasn’t hot

Oh … well glad I’m not the only one

Mmm yeah come on let’s keep walking

So where are you and your friend staying

We’re staying at a house about a 10 minute walk from the gates

Wait you guys walked here he asks kinda shocked

Yeah it would have been an hour if we tried to drive or even get an Uber

Yeah I guess one luxury of being here with a brand is early access and they provide cars to take us . But how are your feet not killing you in those boots

Oh trust me they are . But I’m thuggin it out . And the drugs are making my limbs so tingly I can’t really feel my feet hurting so there’s that

Well I guess that’s one good outcome

Yeah I guess. Where are you guys staying

Oh a bigger house about 15 minutes out the neighborhood is cool . It’s got a cool fountain in the middle

Wait … a blue fountain

y-yeah

I think we’re in the same neighborhood then

What are the odds

Right crazy huh . Maybe this was fate you say laughing obviously joking

I don’t know maybe your right he says seriously

You look up at him a little dumbfounded by the sincerity in his voice

He looks down at you smiling giving you a small wink causing you to smile

Your eyes look crazy right now

Yeah I feel like I’m seeing everything through bright lenses right now

What is your friend wearing we’re getting close to the bubble maybe I can spot her

A white top with a long ish white skirt and like cool Pearl looking things all over it and her waist

Okay hum.. wait right there is that her

You follow where is hand is pointing .

Yes yeah that’s her

You both walk up to her

Hey bitch you yell as your approach her

Oh my god y/n how are you doing … oh god your eyes

Yeah yeah I know

And you must be the guy who helped her out thank you for taking care of her that’s was very kind of you

You looked at him smiling as he spoke

It was my pleasure you know she isn’t so bad

Haha funny but really Chris thank you . You were more than kind

Of course he says looking down at you smiling

your brothers are probably wandering where you are I know you should probably get back to them

oh I mean I was thinking of actually having them come to us ... unless you want me to leave

no no I wouldnt mind at all if you stayed

good cause to be honest I didn't want to

you both smiled at each other for what felt like hours but was only a minute

let me call them real quick

he calls them and tells them a small part of the story and for them to come meet up with us.

after a couple minutes you hear a couple voices coming from behind you .

you turn to see matt and nick walking up to Chris beside you

Yo Chris

Chris turns around

hey guys sorry I was gone for so long

hey it was for a good reason so its okay

facts well this is y/n and her friend ybf/n he gestures to you both

they look at you smiling you give a small wave and a smile saying hi

wow your outfits are amazing

aww thank you you look great the distressed looks on you and matt your mesh shirt is so cool

thank you they both same at the same time making you laugh a bit

so how you feeling Chris told us a bit about what happened

I feel okay I mean my eye sight is crazy right now but other than that im feeling better than before

that's good im glad you ran into Chris instead of someone else

was that a compliment orrrr

im just saying that out of all the people she could have fallen upon in her situation im glad it was you because you know we don't do drugs or drink so you were fully in your right mind unlike most people here

that is true

yeah I get what your saying

so what even happened with the guy that did this to you

uh I don't know ... ybf/n what did happen with them

oh dumb and dummer are probably still standing where I left them thinking were coming back to hang with them

damn poor guys how embarrassing for them

they can stand there all night for all I care

trust me if catch even a glimpse of the guy ill get violent

oh yeah what are you gonna do beat up a super muscular 6'5 man it came out a bit more sassy then you meant it causing matt and nick to look at you in shock and Chris to glare down at you

I-im sorry that came out more rude then I meant it

no its okay but yeah I would at least try and beat his ass

I wouldn't let you risk ruining that pretty face over him he's not worth the effort you say smiling at him

he smiles at you .

pretty face huh?

okay Christopher shut up

you all laugh as you guys stand around listening to the music playing .

you watch the light beams move around with the different tempos and bass drops

you decide to lean your head on chris's shoulder not even thinking about it.

he looks down at you smiling admiring the way you feel leaning against him and how fascinated you look by the show going on in-front of you all

don't you worry child started playing as you started to feel rain droplets fall on your skin.

it was about 2 am and you had forgotten there was a chance of rain but it made the experience so much better

I FUCKING LOVE THIS SONG

DUDE SAME

BRINGS ME BACK TO CHILDHOOD

ITS SUCH A GOOD SONG

everyone in the crowd is singing along it sounds so beautiful as the crowds voices blend together as the rain pours down.

the rain feels amazing

yeah ...oh god

he says looking at your face

w-what what's wrong you say scared something is wrong

no sorry just your mascara is running everywhere

oh fuck is it bad

kinda but here he says bringing his black shirt up to your face wiping at your face where the mascara had bled down

you hear an awww come from your left

you look over at nick who's smiling

sorry that was just cute i've never seen Chris act like this in-front of us

don't get used to it I wouldn't ruin my shirt for just anybody Chris says to nick . that brought a smile to your face . was he saying you were special. or Maybe you were just reading into it.

after about thirty minutes it was the end of the first night of the festival

god that was amazing I cant wait for tomorrow

I know right but we should start our walk back to the house

why don't we walk with you guys since were staying in the same neighborhood

yeah sure why not you say looking up at him smiling.

hey guys were gonna walk home since were all in the same neighborhood and Ubers are gonna take forever he says to his brothers

sounds good to me

how long is the walk

about like 10 minutes

oh that's not bad at all

yeah not too bad

you all start making your way through the wood path and out the gates starting your walk to the air bnb

after about two minutes your feet start to hurt really bad you really start to regret your shoes choices.

fuck dude my feet are on fire

those shoes are so cute but they don't look comfortable at all

yeah im fully regretting my choice of choosing them

Chris turns to you.

just hop on my back I got you

chris hahah no ill just take them off

and risk stepping on glass now way ...get on my back he says more in a demanding tone

chris no im too heavy ill just thug it out

he grabs you and throws you over his shoulder

too heavy my ass he says in a hushed sharp tone

everyone continues walking

chris come on put me down

nope

you smack his back repeatedly

calm down were almost to the neighborhood

ughhhh you groan out as you go limp knowing he's definitely not putting you down

you see matt take a video laughing

your arms just swinging is so funny oh my god

nick laughs as you flick them off jokingly

making them laugh harder

all the sudden chris sets you down as he sees your best friend start to walk up the drive way to malls house .

y'all go a head ill catch up.

mmmkayyy nick says as they start heading to their house.

so...

sooo...

would it be weird if I umm asked you to come back to ours for the night

i... ummm no not weird just uhhh

If you don't like me like that I get it he says a bit hurt but still smiling

no...no chris not that I was just gonna say I need to get these fucking shoes off and change

oh okay cool ill wait for you then

alright well come in for a bit it might take me a second

alright he says as he follows you up to the front door as you open it and let him in

make your self comfortable ill be as quick as I can

no no take your time no rush

he says taking a seat on the couch as you head up the stairs to your room.

you get your shoes off thank fucking god and then go and find some pajamas to throw on . The only thing is you only sleep in t shirts and underwear so you have no pants to wear.

welp...thats gonna be awkward you say as you head into the bathroom your best friend is in there taking off her makeup.

hey girl what's up

oh you know just getting ready ... to spend the night with chris

she turns jaw dropped at you

whattttt... he asked you to go back with him

yeeeep

damn girl... okayyy get it

like im excited but also... im gonna spend the fucking night with my celebrity crush what is this life dude

I don't know but I cant wait to hear about it tomorrow

she heads to bed since its around 3 am.

you finish taking off your makeup , change and do your skincare.

you go to your best friends room planning to ask her if she has shorts you can borrow for the night.

hey ybf/n

she's already knocked out .

fuck me is all you can think . you go to the drawers where she had unpacked her stuff and sorted through to see if she had any shorts and to your luck . she didn't.

fucking great you whisper to yourself as you go to your room grabbing some socks and slippers putting them on then grabbing your phone charger.

you slowly walk down the stairs trying to keep you shirt from riding up.

hey sorry it took me a while

no your good you ready

ummm yeah

he turns to look at you smiling as he looks you up and down .

you sure you didn't sound like you were

no yeah im ready I just um... I only sleep in a t-shirt and underwear so I have no pants to put on

no worries you can always borrow some sweats if you want

oh alright that sounds good

you say as you walk to the door opening it letting him out first then using your key to lock the front door.

you follow him as he walks further down the road.

hey you look really pretty without makeup on

you smile up at him.

t-thank you

of course he says as he throws his arm over your shoulder keeping you close to his side as you continue walking.

so you wanna watch a movie or something or are you really tired

we can definitely watch a movie I just cant promise ill stay awake the whole time

fair but sounds good to me

you reach a really pretty house and he walks up the drive way to the front door, he opens it and waves you to walk in and you do.

alright were gonna be on the third floor he says as he starts walking up the long spiral staircase .

you follow after him once you reach the third floor it opens up to a big room . it was definitely a renovated attic.

Chris walks over to the bed setting his phone down.

come sit down make your self comfortable i'm gonna run to the bathroom but here's my computer you can pull up Netflix, Hulu or prime video and pick anything. ill be back in a second

okay sounds good you say as you sit down and and type in prime video and start looking through for a movie.

You decide to put on The Visit since it looked good and waited for chris to come back.

the door opens and you look up thinking it was chris but it was matt.

oh hey y/n chris told me to bring these to you he says handing you sweatpants.

oh thank you you say getting up and taking them then slipping them on

they are freshly clean so be happy about that

you laugh lightly at that .

so you guys uhh seem to be getting along really well

yeah I don't think i've ever gotten this close with someone in one night

he hasn't brought a girl home since like uhhh honestly I don't know if he ever has so you must be special

oh god don't feed my delusions matt he's just being nice

nice... no he definitely likes you

you blush at that and you smile at him .

well thank you matt

no problem . im going to bed but tell chris I said good night when he gets back in here

I will goodnight

see you in the morning he says before heading out the door and back down the stairs.

after about 5 more minutes chris comes back up shirtless and in sweatpants hanging dangerously low showing his black Calvins band

you cant help but stair he's so attractive . but god his broad shoulders and collar bones have you drooling . His v-line though god that makes you clench your thighs together as unholy thoughts run through your head.

you good he asks with a smirk letting out a small chuckle.

y-yeah sorry

no need to apologize sweetheart he says as he walks over to get into the bed next to you

he settles into a comfortable position as you sit awkwardly on the opposite side of the bed

he looks over at you smiling.

come here he says as he puts his arm out and pats his side encouraging you to cuddle into him

you smile as you scoot into him and he puts his arm around your chest rubbing your right arm softly.

so what movie did you decide on

the visit

alright what genera is it

horror

oh god okay he says making you laugh

you don't like scary movies do you

they are not my favorite but its okay . it cant be that scary right?

nahhhh we'll be fine you say as you click play

after about 30 minutes into the movie you cuddle into chris a little more since the movie was scarier than expected. He holds you close since he's also creeped the fuck out.

it gets to a scene that is super scary causing you to hide your face in his chest as he hides his face in your hair.

after that scene was done chris looked down at you.

hey uhhh this movie is really scary can we stop watching it

yeah agreed turn this shit off

he immediately exits out of the movie and closes his lap top.

he puts it on the floor as you slide down the pillow to get more comfortable.

what should we do now he says turning towards you

uhhhhh I don't know

alriiight ummmm you hungry at all ...thirsty anything

actually I am kinda thirsty yeah

time to raid the kitchen come on he says pulling you out of the bed.

you both make your way down to the kitchen as he turns on the lights blinding the both of you.

Jesus Christ its so bright

he flips the lights back off and turns his phone flashlight on instead .

okay whatchu want we got dr.pepper, water, sweet tea, Pepsi, cherry coke uhhh

ill take a dr.pepper

coming right up he says before grabbing one from the fridge and bringing it to you

thank you

he cracks open his Pepsi as he turns to you smiling .

of course

you smile back and he maintains eye contact as he takes a sip of his drink.

you take a sip of yours then break eye contact.

wanna head back up to the room

yeah sure

he takes your hand as you walk back up the stairs back into his room.

he closes the door and you go to set your drink down on the bedside table and crawl back onto the bed.

he sets his drink down and lays back down on the bed getting comfy under the covers.

god they need to add a fan in here it so hot

yeah it really is

do you mind if I take the sweats off

no not at all get comfortable

you slip the pants off and throw them on the floor .

you look over at him seeing him looking at you with a small smirk

why are you looking at me like that

like what

like your scheming I can see it in your eyes

no no I was just admiring you

oh really? you say in a teasing tone

yeah your just so beautiful inside and out

you blush bringing your hands to your face.

stooop

he brings his hands to yours pulling them off your face

I mean it you really are beautiful

thank you chris you say as he leans closer to you

your breathe catches and he leans into your ear .

his breathe fanning your neck making you shiver

I really wanna kiss you right now

I would be okay with that you say

he comes up from your ear and leans down kissing you .

it was a sweet but hungry kiss.

he moved his hands to your sides pulling you closer and pulling your leg over his side as he caress your thigh causing you to let out a soft moan into his mouth .

he smiles into the kiss then pulls away his face still close to yours

you tired

eh not really you say smiling

good cause im about to do so many things to you he says as he brings his mouth down to your neck .

PART 2 COMING SOON ....

💋

#Spotify #fanfiction #chris sturniolo

43 notes · View notes

skzoologist · 1 year ago

Note

I just woke up, Hello

My vision is failing me ngl, for some reason whenever I wake up my vision gets so goddamn blurry, I can't read

The ghost fic made me cry, so beautiful

The ghost anon is so sweet wth

OH and since you erased the 1 request for 1 person thing, I would like to request

"No! I want cuddles now!" 🧋☕ focused more on Bae, 3Racha

Go ham with it

P.S I saw that -6°C was nearly freezing? Is where you guys live that warm? Cuz here the lowest is like -33°C and highest is like -9°C so far

word count: ~1.4k

warnings: none

genre: fluff, crack

a/n: Hey-ho 🐿️ anonnie! I hope your vision got better soon afterwards, it sounds worrying 😨 And I'm sorry my ghost!Bae fic made you cry, I hope this one will cheer you back up! Made it extra fluffy, for you. I accidentally went ham with it, I did not mean to write this much lol 💀 Also where I live it's I guess relatively warm? It's kinda rare for it to snow here properly (and not just have sludge and ice all over the place), which is why I'm so happy it snowed a few days ago, even if only a few centimeters. Your place is waaaaay colder, so stay bundled up and cosy! 😊

Please let me know if I left a warning or anything out, I will add it in! Reblogs, likes and feedback are greatly appreciated!

!I don't condone anyone stealing my work and posting it anywhere without my permission, or feeding it to AI!

!This is just fiction, my interpretation of Stray Kids. By no means is this how they are and how they behave in real life!

The powerful beats of their latest title track flowed through his body, his heart beating to that same, exhilarating rhythm. He knew the song from the top of his head already, having danced to it countless times, and yet, once the inevitable silence crept in, he restarted the cycle all over again, no matter how much his clothes and hair clinged to his sweaty skin.

Then suddenly the music cut off midway, a frustrated sigh left in its place amidst the dancer’s confusion.

“Bae, how many times have we talked about this? You’ve already perfected the choreography, you NEED to rest now.” - it was Minho, a disapproving scowl sitting on his sharp features.

Bae simply watched his hyung, heaving for air, wondering how the man got there in the first place. A quick glance at the now open door gave him all the answers he needed, knowing fully well that he was probably too absorbed in his own practice to even hear the sound of the door opening. Wouldn’t have been the first time, after all.

“I’m talking to a wall, I swear to god. Bae. If I see you in this room one. More. Time. I’m chucking you into the air fryer next to Hyunjin. Don’t look at me like that. Now go.” - the angry cat ushered him out, gathering all of the otter’s belongings and shoving them into his arms.

Bae obediently let himself be pushed out of the door, a click immediately resounding in the air.

He was locked out, that much was obvious.

Of course he knew not to push Minho’s buttons anymore, a miracle in itself that he was let off only with a simple warning. He’d already experienced the man’s wrath once before and it was not fun at all. Just the mere thought brought a shiver up his spine, never wanting to experience that ever again. Even if it was all for his own good, he would rather avoid a repeat of what’d happened.

Sighing, Bae trudged towards the locker room, the thought of a quick shower and fresh clothes soothing his mind.

Although that calmness disappeared the moment he checked his phone afterwards, the device filled with messages from Chan. There wasn’t a lot, not nearly enough to make him think something terrible had happened, but their contents were unusual, requesting him to drop by the studio. It had happened before, sure, but not often enough for it to be considered normal. The three idols preferred to work alone, their synergy so perfect, anyone else’s presence was a mere bother.

Confused, but not having anything else to do, Bae messaged his leader back and started his ascent to the seeked-after room. It took a bit of time; the hallways were packed, and so was the elevator, the rush hour inside the company hitting the idol full force. He politely bowed his head in greeting towards staff and other idols, some looking at him with a smile, some too busy and instead looking like they were about to collapse right then and there. It caused a worried crease to form in his forehead, but there was nothing he could do, sadly.

Having made his way to where he was needed, Bae let himself into the room, only after a soft knock and a quiet ‘Come in’ could be heard.

There sat Chan, Changbin and Jisung, all in comfy hoodies, bundled up and hunched over the table, way too entranced to even look away from the monitors fully.

Only after Bae closed the door and plopped onto the couch did Chan shake himself out of this trance, headphones now fully slid off and hanging around his neck. A lopsided smile sat upon his face as their eyes met, only widening at Bae’s expression.

The other two joined the oldest soon, all eyes set on Bae and teasing smiles dancing on their lips. Bae didn’t know what warranted these expressions, simply confusedly tilting his head and causing soft giggling to be heard.

“So, I heard Minho kicked you out of the practice room.” - Chan gently whispered out amidst giggles, dimples fully on display. “Oh, so that’s why he looks like that!” “Jisung! Hey, it’s okay baby, don’t look so sad.” - Changbin said, his arms already guiding Bae’s head towards his chest in a soothing hug.

It was true that their tallest member was not happy about being kicked out, but the others’ reactions puzzled him greatly. He wasn’t devastated or anything, so what were they talking about?

Loud laughter grabbed his attention, the poorly breathing wolf soon joined by a quokka and a dwaekki. This only confused him more, a huff escaping his mouth as he crossed his arm, now free from Changbin’s hold, as the latter was too busy almost falling off the couch.

“I love it so much when you don’t realise you’re doing the puppy eyes. Hyung, you look like a kicked puppy!” - Jisung explained, making Bae’s eyes widen and cheeks dust over with pink. “Mh, our baby otter is so cute.” - Chan added in, watching in satisfaction as his victim’s skin only reddened. “YAH, you’re too cute, this is unfair!” - Changbin all but shouted, locking Bae into a tight hug and squeezing the air out of him.

Bae tried to wiggle out of the dwaekki’s arms, but the hold on him was way too strong for that. After realising this, he gave up, turning limp in the happily celebrating man’s clasp, essentially becoming his cuddle pillow.

Seeing this all, the two left out members started protesting, wanting their fair share of their shy member and his cuddles. Bae didn’t hesitate to take the chance when Changbin’s arms loosened around him amidst his own protests about wanting to keep the man for himself, quickly slipping out and away from all of them. This naturally gathered all their attention; their eyes watching him fiercely, as if he was their prey, ready to be hunted.

“Is this why you called me here?” - he sternly asked, a furrow in his brows and a slight scowl in his lips that wasn’t there out of true anger. “Yes and naur. Minho asked me to essentially lock you into the studio with us, so you cannot secretly overwork yourself. And hey, who am I to say no to some cuddles?” - Chan answered, that teasing smirk dancing on his lips that told Bae he was not joking around.

Before the cornered otter could dash towards the door, Jisung pounced on him, keeping him in place just long enough for the other two to drag him back onto the couch. A soft ‘Oomph’ sound left his lips as he collided with the bouncy material, unable to fight against the entire force of Gymracha alone.

He had to accept his fate, one that was filled with stiffening cuddles and teasing for an unforeseen amount of time.

A deep sigh left his lips as he’d done exactly that, relaxing in Chan’s hold as Jisung was hugging his legs and Changbin was playing with his fingers, arm tightly hugged into his chest. The couch was impossibly small to house all four of them, yet somehow they managed, all crammed into the tiny space.

The three seemed content to just stay like that, and seeing as Bae literally had no choice, he let them be, their warmth seeping into his clothes and skin, settling there in contentment. His muscles relaxed in a way he didn’t even know they needed to, a tension he’d never noticed leaving his body. The position he was trapped in felt safe, as if he had nothing to worry about in the entire world.

Maybe Minho was right, maybe he did need to rest for a bit, just a little bit.

But after an hour of it all, he was starting to overheat, the contact on his skin now too much, too warm.

“Shouldn’t you guys be working?” - he asked, hoping the answer would be yes, since all of them were workaholics to a certain degree. “No, I want cuddles now!” - Jisung shouted before anyone else could, flopping onto Bae’s front and burying his head into his clothed stomach.

Chan and Changbin only laughed at his misery, their answers probably similar to their younger members. Bae could only sigh for the umpteenth time, head gently plopping back against Chan’s shoulder.

“At least let me get my hoodie off.” “No.”

The afternoon seemed way too long in Bae’s eyes already, a fact that was only strengthened as time went on, even though there was an undeniable, gentle warmth that danced around in his eyes whenever he looked at the ones around him.

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